Great Quotes

Somebody once said, “There are three types of people; Those who make things happen, Those who watch things happen, and Those who don’t know what the heck happened!” I don’t know who said it. I mean I just said it now, but I’d bet the farm I wasn’t the first, and I don’t even own a farm. That’s how sure of myself I am. Boy, that was a lot of words to say absolutely nothing.

Now, I totally believe the first statement. If you need to go back and check it again, don’t worry I’ll wait. Dum de dum. Do you have it? I certainly hope nobody out there is right now thinking, “Somebody once said!” You should know better than that. Your mother and I, tried so hard to teach you better, and you still just turned out to be a smart aaaactually I probably should just keep going and get to the point.

For those of you who have known Mr. Ohh! for a long time you undoubtedly feel I’m one of those folks who make things happen. I like to believe that too. More often I find myself wishing I could pour a glass of sweet tea, and just sit, and watch the things happen. Sadly, it’s not to be. You see, more and more, in this crazy world I find myself wondering, “What the scharts happened around here?” It brings up another quote which I have no idea who might have said it first; “The Inmates Are in Charge of The Asylum.”

Great confusion

This very week my daughter, my little princess, who has beautiful long hair, the color of dusty gold, came into the room with a change. Now, with an introduction like that, many of you might think she cut off all those golden locks. You’d be wrong. Some of you might have cheated, and looked at the title concluding she showed up with purple hair. You’d also be wrong. Then there are invariably folks out there who might be drinking, or just not paying attention. They might just start blurting out words like some rowdy idiot in a bar saying, “Your daughter dyed her hot pink.” Those folks would be right. Yes, my little girl had the color hair women would kill for, when I was growing up, and she dyed it hot pink. Why, you may ask? Because she wants to be an individual. Just like all the other individuals with pink hair out there.

Yup! That’s what I said. Everyone in her age group wants to express themselves, be a trend setter, show their individuality, and be different from all the rest. Therefore, they look around, observe trends, and then do exactly what everyone else does. It’s true. I asked her why she dyed her hair, and she told me it was to be herself. Then I dropped her off at school the next day. Every teen and a third of the adults had odd colored hair. Pink, purple, green, blue, orange, you name it, it was there. Men as well as women, and they were all being individuals while looking exactly the same, SILLY! I’m going to sound old when I say this so be prepared, but “When I was their age we called folks with colored hair clowns, and it wasn’t a compliment. Now, when teens meet the first words out of their mouth are something like:

1 “Ohh, I love your hair.”

2 “Do you really? I’m thinking about changing it.”

That’s another thing. My daughter spent an hour in the bathroom, making her hair a disgusting shade of hot pink, only to hate it ten minutes later. She could have kept it the way it was. Everybody liked it that way, but I’m just the father. I certainly don’t know anything.

Great Confusion

Then the real indignation happened. She told me the beauty store was only open while she was at school. She wanted me, of all people, to go and get her more hair dye. I said no, absolutely not. I would not be a party to this overwhelming strangeness. She said please. I stayed firm. If the world had to stop with Mr. Ohh! It would. I was truly going to be one of those people, and make it happen. Then she said something like, “Daddy…” The next thing I knew, I was in the store a day later, staring at a shelf full of dye colors, searching for Shocking Purple. I don’t even know how I got there. Now, that’s some serious power. I wish I had that kind of control. I could change the world with influence like this. The only issue is, it’s power over me!

I talked to the lady clerk while I was there, and learned something else. When I asked for help, the first thing she asked me was, “How temporary do you want it?” How Temporary? Yup! They have brands that fade after a week, a few weeks, or a month, but nothing you would call permanent. The entire industry of being yourself is based on the fact you’ll hate what you become, and want to change yourself all over again. Therefore, you don’t even know what ‘yourself’ is. You’re just experimenting to find out what you are when you were just you all the time. Boy that was deep. Sometimes I don’t know my own philosophical strength.

Anyway, I bought the dye and gave it to my little girl. Of course, it was wrong. I purchased Dragon Vibe brand and she wanted Zodiac Sheen. Apparently, Dragon Vibe is affiliated with a company which oppresses olive pickers in South America. I didn’t even know there were olive pickers in South America, let alone that they were oppressed. How do teens find out these things? And why do they even care? I’m not saying I’m insensitive to world problems, but when I was seventeen, we were more concerned if we were going to get a date or not. Problems were closer to home.

Great Google

Personally, I blame the all-powerful Google. It’s the reason my daughter knew about pink hair in the first place. Some celeb in California dyes their hair pink, Google plasters it all over the internet, then my daughter finds out about it, and has to be the same. The problem is, what happens when Google decides people should have elephant noses? Can’t you just see women flocking to surgeons to have their noses elongated so they hang past their necks? OOPS!

I shouldn’t have mentioned that. As the influencer I am, now people are going to do it. If any of you have daughters I am very sorry. Perhaps someone will come up with the two-week nose. It will be stretched for a short time then regain its normal shape. Of course, someone will show up with a longer nose, and the competition will begin. Who knows where it will end? Someone’s bound to have a nose dragging on the ground before it’s all over. I mean, yuck.

I guess pink hair really isn’t all that bad. I better get to the store and get the right dye, before it closes.