For those of you who aren't me…and I've noticed a surprisingly large number of people who aren't.
A while back I went to one of those store closing, liquidation sales. It was great. I got a bunch of brand-new stuff I needed at something like eighty percent off. My wife asked me to pick up a skillet for her. This was a mistake on her part. The large almost fatal mistake was …
Continue reading Mistake To Misery The Tale Of An Iron Skillet
In 1985 Bruce Springsteen wrote a song called I’m On Fire. I looked at a picture of Bruce, and while he’s not the handsomest man alive he doesn’t look as though he has had third degree burns all over his body. Therefore, we must conclude he was speaking figuratively as opposed to literally. I don’t …
I want to know, and I want to know now, what ignorant sociopath came up with the plain donut? Is this a marketing tool of some kind? Perhaps, they think we can lose weight and feel-good eating plain donuts. Don’t be an idiot. It’s still deep-fired sugar filled dough. It still has about a bazillion …
To everyone reading this, I want to thank you all. If I don’t post next week it’s because my cat has sent me to the great somewhere. No, not to Wal-Mart for more food. I’m trying to say that my cat is trying to assonate me. She figured out, just how allergic I am to …
I was reading in a book about a man who was living two lives. One as a suburban husband, and the other as a homicidal maniac. The reason he had to leave the house every night and go kill someone was because he hated his family. He couldn’t kill his family because of his wife’s …
Continue reading A Game For Kings, Geniuses, And At Least One Idiot
This post is dedicated to my friend at Philosophy Through Photography Maybe check them out If You Want To Hear Me Read This Press Play If Not Read On It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. Actually, it wasn’t. It was pretty average all the way through. Let’s start this …
Continue reading Once Upon A Time There Was A Man Called Mr. Ohh!
Have you ever seen someone stumble across a sidewalk, trip over a curb, cough several times, then jump up and down, while whimpering and holding their ears? For most folks, the thing to do is ask how that person is. They will undoubtedly answer, “I’m Fine” You and I both know he is not fine. …
Continue reading In Lieu Of The Truth, We Proudly Present This
My great grandmother was very clear on one very important point. Well, she’s not my great grandmother. She’s my grandmother who is great. Just ask her and she’ll tell you for hours just how great she is. She’s a maternity nurse, which to hear her tell it is about two steps tougher than a marine …
Continue reading It’s All About The Beef, ‘Bout The Beef, No Cheddar
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the fatherly bonds which have connected them with his daughter, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle him, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that …
Hello to all you good people. Hi to the bad folks as well. I certainly don’t want to discriminate. I leave it to you to determine which you are and will not say a word. How very complete of me. The funny thing about being so comprehensive is that it doesn’t extend to all walks …
Continue reading Sorry If I Upset Your Delicate Sensibilities
Mr. Ohh!'s Sideways View 