Welcome To Me

Hello, my name is Mr. Ohh!

cropped-sideways-viewI was born, I think most people were, don’t you? However, I could be wrong. In the high-tech age we live in, there’s probably several other ways to enter our world, not the least of which, by alien spacecraft. But where was I? Oh yes, I grew up to have a very very odd sense of humor. I find it helps with the day to day dealings with flawed people and strange situations.

I am an observer of the world and I find the world, as a whole, doesn’t make much sense. Maybe we are the result of a billion-year-old practical joke no one stopped, Perhaps the supreme being is be someone like John Cleese. He or She must have a very dry sense of humor, who likes laughing at the stupid things people do, or the things stupid people do. You decide which way is better. Why else would He or She put so many of them in one place. That place being Earth.

Many of you have probably said, you want to be in show biz. Well congratulations, you are. The all-powerful beings are, right now, looking down at us, laughing their fool heads off. It’s okay though. The only real drawback is we won’t know if we won an Academy Award until we go on to the next universe. I’ve met several people who have got to be up for Life-Time Achievement awards for their work in stupidity. Folks like me, and John for that matter, just watch and take notes.

Another explanation, might be found in Erwin Schrödinger’s multiverse. Basically, he says that there are a billion universes all existing at the same time. They may even interact. Think of each universe as a house on a street. Each full of certain people having individual lives. All of them occupying the same time. Well our universe is the insane asylum up at the north end of the road. You know the place. Nobody goes there except youngsters on a Halloween dare. In all the other universes, reasonably intelligent beings go about their reasonably intelligent lives. In our universe, everyone’s nuts.

We scream, talk to walls, dance to music that isn’t there, pay taxes, and all those other silly things we do. Many comedians make a living saying they hate stupid people, and proceed to describe them. The thing is, there is no such thing as a ‘stupid person’. The phrase is an oxymoron, leaning very heavily on the ‘moron’ side. There are only people. We are all in the same boat. Those comedians could just say “I hate people,” continue on as they always have, and the show would be exactly the same.

Me? I love people. I say, “Up with people. The more people the better.” They are a never-ending source of laughter. The most creative comic, in any of the universes, couldn’t make up the idiocy I see every day. The best people are the ones who think they don’t qualify. That, in itself. makes them more fun to watch. They are also easier to watch because they run for public office, so they can be senseless on a national, and even international level. Several politicians come immediately to mind. Then it gets even more fun when they blame the media for covering their ignorant actions. Now, the people of the media don’t want others to believe they did something crazy, so they up the ante, and do something even worse. The whole thing culminates with someone crying on TV claiming all of their behavior is justified, because they have a disease. Get a clue! The disease is idiocy and we all have it. So, enjoy the rehab, you’ll be just as dumb when you get out.

There’s another ridiculous thing folk at the top do. They make laws. Not always sensible laws like; It’s illegal to own nuclear weapons in California. (It’s on the books, look it up) I can see the practicality there, but I wonder. It might be just like that lame fireworks law, which was so popular, in so many states. ‘You can purchase them here as long as you don’t explode them here.’ (wink, wink)

No, they make laws like placing a 1000-dollar fine for killing a Sasquatch in Washington State. This law was enacted in 1969. It’s not even that old. Considering no one has ever proven the Sasquatch exists, this is one cheap fine. If I shot a mythical beast and dragged it out of the Washington woods, I’d call the papers, charge a million bucks for the story, go on talk shows, and sell the book rights. I’d be a bazillionaire. I’d gladly pay the paltry fine. I’d even happily pay the twenty-five bucks for the hunting license. Hear me people of Washington State, Up The Fine to Two Million Bucks! That might actually stop some people from poaching your precious Sasquatch, but I digress.

Anyway, I have thought perhaps others might be more isolated than I am. Those poor souls might not have my opportunities for observing the masses. Well this is your lucky day. I have decided to write my observances down and create this blog so that you too can see the world in the way I do.

Nevertheless, here is where I will be placing my observations.