You Can’t Always Get What You Want, But If You Try Sometimes, You’ll Get Confused!!!

A saying to remember There is this great old saying, “Never Send a Cow To Do An Eagles Job.” I don’t know who said it originally, and I really don’t care. It’s a pretty dumb saying. It might have even been me, one night in my youth when I was blasted out of my gourd. …

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Sing A Simple Song… And I Hope You Get It Right!!

Let's sing about love What’s Love Got to Do With It? Well, actually nothing, but before you go saying I’ll Never Fall in Love Again you should probably check this out. I realize that Love Stinks and Breaking Up Is Hard to Do, but Wake Up Little Susie. You should know by now that Love …

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The Mr. Ohh! Bus Is Here But Is Doesn’t Stop Where You Are

Great News Well, we’re moving now. I’m proud to announce that I’ve been promoted. I’m not talking about those silly promotions they give at your meaningless place of employment. I’m not stupid enough to want some corner office with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city. I don’t want the idiot task of going to …

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The Game Is Finding A Game Without Going Gamey, And I’m Game.

A great Opening I have come to the conclusion that there are two kinds of people; Those who eat roadkill opossum and Those who don’t. Now, isn’t that a great opening line? Old Charlie Dickens never thought of that one. Did he? Of course, he never wrote in the caliber of Mr. Ohh! either. That …

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Talk Fast And Never Ever Be Understood!!

A word And now a word from our sponsor. This is a famous line, which has been used since the days of the Pharaohs, to announce that a commercial is coming. Of course, in the days of ancient Egypt it would have been said like this: this: <arm, water, hand> <water, quail chick, quail chick> <arm> <quail chick, quail …

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I’ve Said It Before… And It’s Still Brilliant!!

Wise Words A great and wise person once said, “Everyone is an idiot in their own way. The sooner we embrace that fact, the sooner we can all live in peace. The longer we deny it, stupidity will continue to rule the world.” Whoever that was must’ve been highly intelligent, with his finger on the …

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New (to me) Holiday Traditions That I Don’t Understand

My Grandparents tradition My grandparents had a seven-foot, aluminum foil, Christmas tree every year. It stood on a base that spun it around. On it hung blue and green balls, nothing else. Above it was a yellow light and below was a spinning thing that changed the floodlight illuminating it from red to blue to …

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