For those of you who aren't me…and I've noticed a surprisingly large number of people who aren't.
Doctors I love doctors. You will almost never hear me say a negative word about them. They look great in their white coats carrying clipboards. By now, you must realize, in this country looking great is of primary importance. It doesn’t matter whether you know what you are doing, if you look great then everything’s …
Continue reading There Aren’t Any Smaller Words Than “NO”!!!
It starts with children There is a children’s song which poses the question; Do your ears hang low? What are we doing to our children? Doesn’t the younger generation have enough self-esteem issues without having the simplest of songs looking for deformities? Whatever happened to Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes? Sure, it’s trite. Yes, you …
Things Have you ever done a thing? Then another thing happens, and all of a sudden you think of a third thing. Which should be a thing completely unrelated to the other things, but after thing-ing the things a bit longer, you find both things tell you things about the third thing. The third thing …
Continue reading Everything You Learned Is Wrong!! Well In Kindergarten Anyway
Thinking Deep Thoughts Every so often I sit back to ponder one of life’s great ponderables. Usually, the process of pondering ponderables, is precluded by pondering a peckish place, which promptly places my ponderings precisely upon pizza. And as we all know, pizza promptly replaces all previous ponderings, period. Bet you can’t say that five …
In Sickness I was feeling terrible, and getting concerned, so I went to the clinic. I was checked out by a nurse who looked like Heidi Klum, but wearing a lot more than what you might see at Victoria’s Secret runway show, which is where I last saw Heidi Klum. This nurse also had several …
Continue reading Me And Her Against The World… And She’s A Double Agent!!
Being a parent is hard As a parent I feel it is my duty to impart the wisdom I have gained upon my children. However, as a former child I’m fully aware, none of them are going to listen to me. That’s okay though. It’s all part of nature’s wonderful pattern. Children know everything, all …
My littls car and the American dream I may be in the minority here but I like little cars. My fans outside of the US may not understand this statement, because it’s a bit ambiguous. In many places of the world All Cars are Little Cars. That may be true, but we here in America …
Start with a song Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother’s house we go! The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh through white and drifted snow. Over the river and through the woods, now grandmother’s cap I spy. Hoorah for the fun. Is the pudding done? Hoorah for the pumpkin pie. …
Continue reading The Truth About Grandparents Is There’s No Truth About Grandparents
When God Closes A Store I just read some shocking news. A local Baby superstore is going to close at the end of the year. At first, I remembered my two and a half adult children and thought, “Who cares?” You must understand that as an American I’m supposed to ignore any problem that doesn’t …
Continue reading Babies’ Butts, Politicians, And Other Important Issues
My Mom I remember way back when, I used to sit on Mama Ohh!’s lap. She would tell me tales of the old country. These were probably all lies considering she was born and raised in Pennsylvania. Although, she does make a mean golabki, which are Polish cabbage rolls, paprikash, which is Polish chicken in …
Mr. Ohh!'s Sideways View 