For those of you who aren't me…and I've noticed a surprisingly large number of people who aren't.
Everything starts with a problem Ladies and gentlemen, there is a flaw in the system, a bump in the road, a fly in the ointment, a wrench in the machine, a big clod mucking up the butter churn, a rock in the garden, and I don’t mean one of those pretty ornamental rocks. Lots of …
Continue reading I Am Egg-spressing Egg-zactly How Egg-zasperating This Is
A bad week This has been a bad week. In fact, it was a very bad week. Now I don’t normally believe in corporal punishment, but this has been the kind of a week where I’d like to take off my belt and whack it on its Friday a couple times. That’ll teach it. I …
Continue reading These Toys Are Not Recommended For Children Over Thirty
I used to worry... In the before time, I thought my daughter turning sixteen would worry me to exhaustion because she would suddenly develop “Girl Parts”, become an emotional hurricane, start talking about boys, and want expensive clothes I can’t afford. I have enough problems without a pubescent female homo-sapien roaming my house wanting me …
Continue reading Spider, Spike, And Skull Are A Pain In My S!!
My wife and I have a glorious marriage. She tells me we do anyway. Actually, I believe her on this one, because it seems around our house everything runs very smoothly. We have been together long enough that we understand each other’s needs, pick up the slack when one or the other has a bad …
Continue reading You Can’t Live With ‘Em And No Exterminater Will Touch ‘Em
I can’t wait to have grandchildren. I’m going to love telling them how I walked to school, nine days every week, in thirteen feet of snow, during our eight-month winters, uphill both there and back, and this was after we spent four hours collecting cow eggs and milking chickens. How do you milk a chicken? …
As the father, it is believed that I know everything. My wife believes it, and my children call me the fountain of eternal knowledge. I love these titles and would do anything to maintain this air of mystique, except for one tiny little problem. It’s all a load of refried-monkey-dung. I don’t know what bunk …
You may, or may not, have guessed this, but I am what could be called the Black Sheep of my family. I could also be called a rogue genius. I like that! Heck I could be called a spaceman but it really wouldn’t mean anything. I don’t have a billion dollars to pay for being …
Continue reading If All Your Friends Say Cosine Theta Is .725 Do You Say So Too???
As I write this, I am smiling. I have been declared a hero. No, I don’t need medals or citations. Just the knowledge that I have saved a small town from total disaster is enough for me. However, if you want to send cash, I will humbly accept it saying it will go toward animal …
Continue reading Chuck And Dave And The Tale Of The Laying Lion
I haven’t shaved in two days and my hair is a mess. I have four beers in front of me, and you might wonder why, on this short flight between Canada and the USA, I would do that. The reason is actually very simple. Very odd, but simple. You see Canadian flight attendants on Canadian …
A Mr. Ohh’s sideways view EXTRA. Wow people is this ever exciting. Today is world laughter day and I truly feel I’m not doing my share. Earlier I went outside, stood in the yard and threw pies in people’s faces, but the pedestrian community I live in just called the cops. The fine wasn’t too …
Mr. Ohh!'s Sideways View 