For those of you who aren't me…and I've noticed a surprisingly large number of people who aren't.
I swore I would never do it, and I’ve been very successful thus far. As I was growing up, I promised all the creatures of Heaven, Hell, and every other world now living and dead that I would never become my father. I have certified documents, signed and notarized, from all three of my children …
I was attending my local writing seminar and was shocked. As the group read their submissions almost all of the writers, who chose to share something, were writing their memoirs. I never thought of that. Sure, we have all had some interesting experiences, but none of us have ever been president or eaten five-hundred chicken …
I remember when my father brought home our first NES game system. How excited I was. I remember holding that controller in my hand and listening to the electronic introduction music. I saw my character in position, pushed the ‘GO’ button and… all the lights went out and smoke poured out the back of the …
Continue reading If You’re Smart, Make Your Travel Plans… Never
Has anybody, besides me, ever wondered why almost everything is celebrated with Champaign? Seriously all it is, is a dry sparkling white wine. Thinking of it in those terms you can get it anywhere. I know a great Michigan winery which makes a great sparkling white wine for about ten bucks. In contrast, real Champaign …
I have come to the conclusion that there is a double standard in our world, which no one talks about. Much has been said about the economic issues between races and sexes in the workplace, and the double standard of various religious groups in parts of the world has been protested for thousands of years. …
The Declaration of Independence clearly states that all men, women, and children have inalienable rights. Actually, it doesn’t mention women or children at all, but I was afraid if I didn’t mention them, some group out there would take offense, feel I slighted them in some way, possibly taking to the streets with torches and …
Continue reading We Hold These Truths To Be In Need Of An Explanation
Boy! Talk about your moral dilemmas. I am shocked, appalled and very confused. As a writer I understand I can be slightly controversial, and as a comedian I understand I have to be careful, in this age of political correctness, not to offend anybody, but I never realized I was diverting from the path of …
Continue reading So I Unpacked My Adjectives… And Threw Them Away
I have decided I’m going into business. Even now I am wooing venture capitalists, writing business plans, and coming up with innovative ways to avoid paying taxes. (Thanks Mr. President) Don’t panic future investors, I already have my product. I wanted to say this up front in case you think I’m like that woman and …
Mr. Ohh!'s Sideways View 