For those of you who aren't me…and I've noticed a surprisingly large number of people who aren't.
Start with a bad joke I was at the market with my wife the other day and she was picking out some bakery mixes. She sent me to the other end of the aisle to get olive oil. Of course, there was regular, virgin, and extra virgin. I sniggered to myself and called out, “Honey, …
Misunderstanding Shakespeare “Thou mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms!” Huh?? What the heck is that supposed to mean? This line is a direct quote from William Shakespeare, Henry IV: Part 1, and like so much of old Willy I don’t understand a word of it. I got out my handy-dandy dictionary and I looked up the words. First …
Continue reading Alas, Poor Yorick… ICH!!! I’m Holding A Dead Guy’s Skull!
Let me ask you You’ve probably heard that our friend covid caused some teensy-weensy delivery delays. Well, I’m here to say that’s just nuts! In fact, I ordered a refrigerator with my tax refund, and it arrived this week. Of course, it was my 2020 refund and I ordered it in March of 2021, but …
Continue reading Decisions, Decisions? Either Way I’m Always Wrong!!!
A saying to remember There is this great old saying, “Never Send a Cow To Do An Eagles Job.” I don’t know who said it originally, and I really don’t care. It’s a pretty dumb saying. It might have even been me, one night in my youth when I was blasted out of my gourd. …
Let's sing about love What’s Love Got to Do With It? Well, actually nothing, but before you go saying I’ll Never Fall in Love Again you should probably check this out. I realize that Love Stinks and Breaking Up Is Hard to Do, but Wake Up Little Susie. You should know by now that Love …
Continue reading Sing A Simple Song… And I Hope You Get It Right!!
Great News Well, we’re moving now. I’m proud to announce that I’ve been promoted. I’m not talking about those silly promotions they give at your meaningless place of employment. I’m not stupid enough to want some corner office with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city. I don’t want the idiot task of going to …
Continue reading The Mr. Ohh! Bus Is Here But Is Doesn’t Stop Where You Are
I sincerely tried Ohh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to make people happy!!! I know this isn’t the exact quote but mine is much more apropos to my situation, seeing as how everything I have written or said, up to this point has been one hundred percent true, and humorous; …
Not the best of times It was the worst of times and trust me I didn’t need two cities to know it was, because I was in the drive-thru line, at a local hamburger place. If I had another city, some best of times might’ve shown up, but I couldn’t have gotten there anyway. I …
A Question I can say proudly that my dog is ugly. I’m not talking really ugly, not the kind of ugly were folks say, “Aww! He’s so ugly he’s cute.” Nope, just plain ugly. About the only other thing I know about him is his name is; Wonder Dog. Yea, and my cat’s name is …
A great Opening I have come to the conclusion that there are two kinds of people; Those who eat roadkill opossum and Those who don’t. Now, isn’t that a great opening line? Old Charlie Dickens never thought of that one. Did he? Of course, he never wrote in the caliber of Mr. Ohh! either. That …
Continue reading The Game Is Finding A Game Without Going Gamey, And I’m Game.
Mr. Ohh!'s Sideways View 