Well, don’t I feel proud. I know all of you are thinking, Hey, what’s he got to be proud of? Well, I’ll tell you. I have finally achieved the notoriety I deserve. Ever since I was a teenager, just like all other teenagers, I knew that I was the center of the Universe. And just like …
Now You’re Cooking With Guys
My television went on the fritz and so I've had a bit of time on my hands lately. I decided to read a book. The thing is, those biographies my wife reads really don’t interest me. The only celebrity I ever wanted to know all about is Spongebob Squarepants. I read his biography a while …
Peculiar Pet Problem
I just finished my morning jaunt around my housing complex. A brisk walk to bid a hearty ‘Good Morning’ to the world. That’s the great thing about where I live. There is only one entrance and exit to this little community, so you can wander along the streets without the noise and smell of traffic …
Custom Taylor-Ing
It has come to my attention that I am not a marketing genius. No one has offered me a part on reality TV or the hosting job on a late-night talk show. It’s all quite depressing. Face it, I am a legend in my own mind, but I’m just not getting the press it takes …
Bikini Season
I saw my first bikini of the season today. It was pink with large blue flowers strategically placed in completely inappropriate places. I’m blushing just thinking about it. The only thing was, it was a little showy for a white mannequin without a head, or legs and arms for that matter. Of course, it was …
We The People In Order To Form A More Perfect Dinner
Well it’s 2019. If your reading this, congratulate yourself because you made it. Then again, I probably could have just said, Congratulations. Because if you aren’t reading this you would never know if I said it or not. Also, if you didn’t make it you could be reading this on some astral plane but unable …
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The Perks of Age
Isn’t it odd the we humans are never satisfied with our age. From the first years of our life we want to be a different age. When we are three we want to be five so we can go to school. At five we want to be ten so we can walk to school with …
Big Brother In 2018
This is a highlighted post originally from July 8 2018 OK, I am officially FREAKED OUT!!! I acquired a new laptop recently, and it’s stalking me. It’s not a love thing like that old Twilight Zone episode. It’s more like an awkward meeting at a party. I just took it out of the box and …
Falsehoods
“To be or not to be” That may have been the question in 1599 when Hambone, oops I mean Hamhock, no it’s, (sound of person thinking) Ham Sandwich… maybe? I got it. It’s Hamlet! Hamlet was the one pondering his existence in 1599. But what about today? Is it still THE question four-hundred plus years …
A Visit From St Mayhem
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the placeDad’s annoyance was growing. He had a red face. The stockings were hung in the corner by stringOne wonders why tradition would make such a thing?The children were nestled all snug in their bedsWhile electronic visions danced in their headsWith mom in her jammies and me …
Mr. Ohh!'s Sideways View 