*New* Differences In The School Daze

I can’t wait to have grandchildren. I’m going to love telling them how I walked to school, nine days every week, in thirteen feet of snow, during our eight-month winters, uphill both there and back, and this was after we spent four hours collecting cow eggs and milking chickens. How do you milk a chicken? …

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Don’t Worry, Your Father Knows… NOTHING!!

As the father, it is believed that I know everything. My wife believes it, and my children call me the fountain of eternal knowledge. I love these titles and would do anything to maintain this air of mystique, except for one tiny little problem. It’s all a load of refried-monkey-dung. I don’t know what bunk …

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Help!! I’ve Been Novelized!!!

I’ve come to the disturbing conclusion that I’ve been transported into a Michael Crichton novel. I’ve come to an even harsher second conclusion that my seventh grade English teacher, Mrs. Pilsner, will send me a nasty email because I used the contraction, I’ve twice in that first sentence. She the local head of the grammar …

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Princess Charlotte Was Caught Using Dirty Words… Big Deal!!!

I was shopping at my local market and happened to notice the tabloids at the checkout. I learned in words two-inches-high that Jen is dating again. Oh, my goodness, I thought. I was afraid Jen might be alone for all time. She’s had such a horrible love life up to this point, and after that …

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If All Your Friends Say Cosine Theta Is .725 Do You Say So Too???

You may, or may not, have guessed this, but I am what could be called the Black Sheep of my family.  I could also be called a rogue genius. I like that! Heck I could be called a spaceman but it really wouldn’t mean anything. I don’t have a billion dollars to pay for being …

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