Something my brother

The other day my brother and I were having dinner. He mentioned how much he likes sushi. I prefer sashimi, not wanting all that rice. He countered by identifying the various varieties and textures of sushi, maintaining that sashimi was, after all, just fish. I actually agreed with him. However, I responded, this had nothing to do with current events. We were in a sports bar eating chicken wings at the time. He grumpily turned back to the game; I won the argument.

I rarely win arguments with him, so this is noteworthy. Then again, this conversation has another special meaning as well. It is a proper opening because it has nothing to do with the rest of the post. I find this all fascinating. I’m rambling about my brother in a bar and food, without coming to any actual point, and you’re continuing to pay attention to me. It’s really quite amazing.

Something about food

In fact, at this point I could start extolling the virtues and detractions of chicken wings, and you would probably blindly keep reading and even start forming opinions. Even though this still isn’t the reason I’m posting. By the way, great wing-sauce is what makes it. The meat itself is really pretty ordinary. Sadly, this too is not the point, I’m still rambling, for no apparent reason. Ha! Says you! I do have a point. I just haven’t gotten to it yet.

Something about English

Before I move forward, I have to say, I have the unique talent of saying the English alphabet backwards. Actually, it isn’t an English alphabet at all. Modern English uses a Latin Script alphabet. Either way I can say it easily backwards or forwards. Did you see what I did there? I professed to be getting to the point, and was immediately side-tracked simply by saying, “Before I move forward…” Then I proceeded to continue rambling, still not coming to the point. So now, over three-hundred words into my post, I will tell you the point: Television.

 Yes, television. The world’s greatest invention for distracting people, and never coming to the point. You see this introduction did make sense after all. Mr. Ohh! would never let you down in such a way. I mean you all are my people, and as such you deserve me not to get off topic and start rambling again. So back to the point.

Something about post WWII

As I indicated, television has been distracting and getting folks off topic ever since people started buying sets in the post WWII boom. I would’ve thought there would have been more boom during the war as opposed to after it. But everything I hear or read talks about the post war boom. Even the people born after are called boomers. So, what do I know? I’ll tell you what I know. There wasn’t any noticeable boom. It’s just that TV came into its own, and distracted enough folks into thinking there was. That’s the power of television, and that’s what I’m talking about.

Television started, as so many things do, with the promise of being educational. It was going to change teaching and learning as we knew it. Another promise broken. It started out with news, the coronation of the new queen, and boxing. How educational are those? Yep, watch boxing and learn how to beat up your neighbor. The news wasn’t much better. All it was, was a guy on the set reading exactly what you could’ve heard on the radio. Then it moved into entertainment and there was no turning back.

Something about education

There were attempts at education. One comedian hosting a kids show asked all his viewers to abbreviate ‘Firetruck’ with disastrous results. Remember this was the glory day of censors. The story ends when he gets black-balled. One of the greats, on an adult show, was doing a bit about a kids show hosts and told kids to go into mom’s purse and send him the cash. The adults thought it was funny. Too bad there were kids watching and did it, not realizing the gag. OOPS!

Naturally, with charming beginnings like those, things had to get better, and more expensive. Also, the butt-kissers in the industry figured they could save cash by not creating shows, and distract folks, even more, by making the same show over and over with different actors. Imitation was in its heyday and the public bought it. They could ramble on forever, distract millions, and no one cared.

Now, I could go into a history of TV, but frankly I don’t want to. So There! Suffice to say that eventually television became so distracting that it was able to lie openly. Without further ado reality programming becomes a thing. Coincidence? I don’t think so. The first one was something called Real World, and there was nothing real about it.

Ohh By the way, Here’s my point

The plot was; Take a bunch of young people, make them live together in an expensive New York appartment, then watch happens. Guess what? They talk to each other about stuff. WOW! The thing is, they’re all gorgeous, vain, airheads without jobs or money worries. There is no place in the world this is real! You have to search for miles to find ten people like this, not one loft. Not Real. You want real world? Put ten factory workers from Michigan in that place. They would show you real. Then again, I’ve seen that real world. You probably wouldn’t want it in your living room.

Next along was Survivor. Twenty folks, scantily clad, and alone on an abandoned island. Along with film crews, medics, interviewers, sound people, and caterers, the loneliness must have been terrible. Then there’s The Bachelor. A guy is given twenty beauties to choose from, and is supposed to marry one in a month. Guys don’t commit that quickly! Especially not good-looking ones. Guys like this rarely even distinguish a woman above the neck, let alone recognize her as his intellectual partner, likely soulmate, and lifelong companion. He’s looking for ‘Whoopie’. Yet over and over we sit at home and pray he picks Annabelle, and hate Morgan because she’s a slut. Folks, get a grip! It ain’t real! The TV is just rambling on, and distracting you.

What Television should be

There’s also the opposite; The Bachelorette. Now, I believe you can find twenty hot ladies, because girls take care of themselves. But twenty studly guys in the same room, never! Then the lady is supposed to fall in love with one of these dudes, again not happening. I’m sure several times during that month she’s probably hospitalized for testosterone poisoning. There might be something if she could have a month with each guy to decide, but no one wants to film a single show for two-years.

What the show should be called is Salvageable Male. Dump the good-lookers, and replace them with checkered-coat salesman, and beer-swilling sports watchers. Let the supermodel pick from real men. Instead of the emotional rose ceremony, some dude should get kicked to the curb, and have his luggage chucked out a window. Even I would pay Netflix to see that.

So, in conclusion; I have no idea how to fix this. Besides, my favorite cooking show is on now.

Gotta Go!