*New* I Earned It!! I Want That Rose Or Else!

It started so simply 88 Open mouth, insert foot, close mouth. 89 Open mouth, insert foot, close mouth. Oh, I’m sorry, I’m being punished and have to write that one hundred times. Yes, you heard correct. Mr. Ohh! is being disciplined because I did something that not only embarrassed the heck out of one of …

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You Can’t Live With ‘Em And No Exterminater Will Touch ‘Em

My wife and I have a glorious marriage. She tells me we do anyway. Actually, I believe her on this one, because it seems around our house everything runs very smoothly. We have been together long enough that we understand each other’s needs, pick up the slack when one or the other has a bad …

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I Won’t Do It!! And They Can’t Make Me!!!

There are many conspiracy theories all over the globe about shadow governments and secret societies that are hiding in the background covertly running the world for their own fun, profit, and most likely to get some cute girls, because they’re all funny looking. You see, I have found the best-looking women are attracted to powerful …

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Don’t Worry, Your Father Knows… NOTHING!!

As the father, it is believed that I know everything. My wife believes it, and my children call me the fountain of eternal knowledge. I love these titles and would do anything to maintain this air of mystique, except for one tiny little problem. It’s all a load of refried-monkey-dung. I don’t know what bunk …

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If All Your Friends Say Cosine Theta Is .725 Do You Say So Too???

You may, or may not, have guessed this, but I am what could be called the Black Sheep of my family.  I could also be called a rogue genius. I like that! Heck I could be called a spaceman but it really wouldn’t mean anything. I don’t have a billion dollars to pay for being …

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