For those of you who aren't me…and I've noticed a surprisingly large number of people who aren't.
From Boring to Exciting A while ago, I walked into my boss’s office. Actually, I walk into her office several times a day. And frankly, not many of them are very memorable. Most are, in fact, very boring with stuff that would put the average insomniac into forever sleep. I did surprise her once and …
Continue reading *New* My Boss, a Kitten‑Weapon Calendar, and the Day I Realized Everyone Is Lying
Highlights of 1894 In 1894 Rudyard Kipling wrote a collection of short stories called The Jungle Book. Actually, 1894 was a big year for innovation. Coca cola was served for the first time in bottles. It was green and didn’t sell well. Consequently, the bottlers decided to add caramel coloring. If you want to hear …
Very quotable “What can be said? When one is unique, one knows it.” This is a quote from Hercule Poirot in Agatha Christie’s novel Black Coffee. I somehow feel very close to this quote. Although I’m not the egomaniac Poirot is. Then again, I look better than a short fat bald man with a huge …
Continue reading *My Life as ‘Talent’: Bizarre Confessions of a Proud, Paid Loser
Bringing Truth Esteemed Chicago retailer, Marshal Fields, is credited with this quote, “The customer is always right!” I’ve spent my whole life in one form of customer service or another, and I can truly say Marshal Fields was full of crap! After many years, I think a better quote is, “The customer is an ass, …
A strange truth I went into my bank the other day. Now there’s an interesting announcement. It would probably be more believable if I said, “I only saw four dragons yesterday, instead of five” Be honest, how many of you actually go to the bank? You, the lady in the back, I know you’re lying. …
Continue reading The Bizarre Truth About Banking in a Cashless Society
Group happenings I was at my writing group a few weeks back when something happened. Actually, a lot of things happened; Rhonda forgot her morning coffee, and was more surly than usual. Not that you care, but Rhonda can be very surly when she wants to be, and without coffee, Wow! She gets that way …
Continue reading Why Writers are Unwittingly Artists: A Comedic Insight
An early question Here’s what I wanna know: What crazy idiot got to decide what foods should be called breakfast? In these United States Breakfast is eggs and coffee. Don’t get me wrong I like eggs and coffee, just not every morning. Also yes, I know there are three different types of eggs: Store bought, …
Continue reading The Breakfast Dilemma: Why Are We Stuck with Tradition?
Questions Here’s a great ponderable question which no one besides the gutsy Mr. Ohh! has ever dared to ask: How pretty does one have to be to stop traffic? Of course this brings up an even greater question: How stupid does one have to be to walk out into moving traffic without looking? If you …
Continue reading Information Overload: Tales of Daily Life, Driving and Beauty
Youre all wet Am I the only one who’s experienced this? I called up the water department with a question and got their computer. This isn’t so strange. It would’ve been stranger if I said I didn’t get the computer, a helpful man took my call, answered all my questions in a timely manner, and …
Continue reading Bizarre Customer Service Fiascos: From Telephone Robots to Amazon Payment Confusion
Have you ever? Have you ever done something that turned out nothing like you wanted? Of course you have. I don’t even know why I asked the question. Everyone has a deep dark oops, which they don’t tell anybody for years. When it eventually comes out, they have to spend several hours explaining, and hundreds …
Continue reading From Joke to Chaos: The Day My Comedy Act Went Horribly, Hilariously Wrong
Mr. Ohh!'s Sideways View 