For those of you who aren't me…and I've noticed a surprisingly large number of people who aren't.
Sorry I was gone You may have noticed I haven’t posted in a couple of weeks. Ohh, I hope you noticed it. I mean if you didn’t, it might mean I am not the singular most important thing in your life. I don’t think I could handle that kind of rejection. I would cry. You …
Continue reading *New* I’m Back, I’m Bad, I’m Better Than Ever!!
What happened Six weeks ago, the horrors of a demented world descended upon the tiny gated community where Mr. Ohh! calls home. Heathens from the darker side of humanity invaded our space and our simple lives will never be the same. Wow this sounds impressive and important, but it really wasn’t. If you want to …
Doctors I love doctors. You will almost never hear me say a negative word about them. They look great in their white coats carrying clipboards. By now, you must realize, in this country looking great is of primary importance. It doesn’t matter whether you know what you are doing, if you look great then everything’s …
Continue reading There Aren’t Any Smaller Words Than “NO”!!!
It starts with children There is a children’s song which poses the question; Do your ears hang low? What are we doing to our children? Doesn’t the younger generation have enough self-esteem issues without having the simplest of songs looking for deformities? Whatever happened to Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes? Sure, it’s trite. Yes, you …
Things Have you ever done a thing? Then another thing happens, and all of a sudden you think of a third thing. Which should be a thing completely unrelated to the other things, but after thing-ing the things a bit longer, you find both things tell you things about the third thing. The third thing …
Continue reading Everything You Learned Is Wrong!! Well In Kindergarten Anyway
Thinking Deep Thoughts Every so often I sit back to ponder one of life’s great ponderables. Usually, the process of pondering ponderables, is precluded by pondering a peckish place, which promptly places my ponderings precisely upon pizza. And as we all know, pizza promptly replaces all previous ponderings, period. Bet you can’t say that five …
In Sickness I was feeling terrible, and getting concerned, so I went to the clinic. I was checked out by a nurse who looked like Heidi Klum, but wearing a lot more than what you might see at Victoria’s Secret runway show, which is where I last saw Heidi Klum. This nurse also had several …
Continue reading Me And Her Against The World… And She’s A Double Agent!!
Great Quotes Somebody once said, “There are three types of people; Those who make things happen, Those who watch things happen, and Those who don’t know what the heck happened!” I don’t know who said it. I mean I just said it now, but I’d bet the farm I wasn’t the first, and I don’t …
Continue reading Blondes, Brunettes, And Shocking Purple Heads??
Sorry for the bad news I hate to tell you all, but I have some bad news; I’m deceased. No wait, that’s not right, I should have said Mr. Ohh! is dead. Wait that’s too harsh. Mr. Ohh! has shuffled off this mortal coil, is now singing with the angels, and no longer has to …
I don't understand I once attended a comedy show. It was excellent except for one part. The headliner started a joke by saying how he hated ‘Stupid People.’ Then he proceeded to talk about these people, and his hatred, for over half an hour. I don’t understand. If he hates these folks as much as …
Mr. Ohh!'s Sideways View 