Highly toxic

Did you know that the most highly venomous creature in the world is a snail? More importantly, do you have the slightest interest in what the most venomous creature might be? Well, either way I’m going to continue. It’s my post, and I can do anything I want. Neener, Neener!

But seriously, the most venomous creature in the world is the Leopard Cone Snail, which lives in the coastal waters of southern Asia. It has enough venom in one strike to kill a bull elephant, twenty humans, or eight unicorns. Assuming, unicorns actually exist. I’m not saying they do or don’t. But I will say, if you’re wearing thick woolen socks you can move around for a long time, totally unnoticed. I have no relevant data on whether a cone snail can kill a dragon or not. Dragons, supposedly have very thick hides, and cone snail barbs are very small. Perhaps if it hit the dragon in the foot, woolen socks notwithstanding. But that’s getting way off topic.

Getting back to my point, as a side note, I get almost no comments or follows, from folks near the coastal waters of Asia. Could this be because cone snails are specifically attracted to people reading my posts? This naturally leads to a larger question; Are the snails attacking, because they hate my posts? Or are they trying to get folks out of the way in order to get their turn to enjoy them? Snails are actually quite bad at operating electronic devices.

This being said, I have another question. Why does a creature, which spends its life buried in the sand, and eats small fish, need to kill and elephant? I mean, this is not something evolution has never had to worry about. Elephants, live thousands of miles away, in the middle of an entirely different continent. The two species will never meet. They can’t even live in the same environment for crying out loud.

But for a reason

Of course, the answer to this question is; Something had to do it. Something had to live out on the extremes so the normal could be established. That’s the definition of normal. The average of a set which encompasses the most members. It is also the reason you should all be saying a great big, “Thank You” to me.

People like me are important to society. We’re the idiotic extremes that keeps you all safely in your happy and livable typical lives. Think about it. If warped folks didn’t exist, all the boring folks would skew the data toward that direction. That would mean, normal, would be far more boring than it is. The problem is there are a lot more boring folks than warped ones. Thus, requiring the warped folks to be even further out on the fringes. I’m not saying I’m highly toxic, like a cone snail, but it would help your living conditions a whole lot more, if I was.

Then again, you’re the ones who accessed this post. You came looking for me. I may have already skewed you, in my direction. Even as we speak, normal could be moving further away from the boring side. Perhaps you were already skewed and that’s what brought you to me. I’m like a warped thinking guru.

Don’t worry I’m not going to make you all put a cat on your head, wear fuzzy orange slippers, or anything like that. Unless, of course you like to wear fuzzy orange slippers. Then, more power to you. All I’m saying is, I’m not going to start a system of beliefs around idiotic thinking. Besides, wearing a cat on your head is kind of stupid. Cats don’t like it, and they have sharp claws. Enough said!

Seriously, is this normal??

However, something must be said about the folks who pull normal the other direction. Remember, boring and strait-laced people rule the world. But we must never confuse them with normal. Would you call it normal, to leave your home, go a great big legislative hall and debate for hours how to best keep dogs from drinking out of the toilet? A normal person would just close the lid. It’s the stuffy, over-cautious, extreme other side who find the issue is worth discussing.

You think I’m joking. And you’d be wrong. Last year, my state’s legislature spent several days debating whether manufacturers should be required to design a toilet that prevented dogs from drinking from it. This stemmed from a lawsuit against a porcelain company because a Labrador retriever got sick from toilet water. You can’t call this normal.

Frankly, I seriously believe those in charge should try to find something better to deliberate. Perhaps mandatory toilet flushing would be a better solution. Sadly, those folks would never think of such a thing. Then again, in retrospect, the people pulling you away from the average in the other direction, can be just as stupid, and funny, as those of us on the warped extreme.

Another way to look at things

Actually, normal can also be defined as; Acting in a predictable manor. In this case I’m quite normal. Before you roll your eyes right out of their sockets, stay with me for a bit. I have been known to be out dancing in the rain, wearing purple shoes. Folks look at me funny, but for me it’s predictable behavior. Quite normal.

On the other end of the spectrum, lawmakers and courts debating the legality of shooting an elephant inside your refrigerator, or if you must wait until after it comes out, is totally ordinary, and predictable, for their specific group. Remember, this is just an example. Elephants and refrigerators haven’t come to the house floor as yet. As far as I know.

Something I really love is the growing group of folks sporting, “Why Be Normal?” Tee-shirts and stickers. Vendors sell these by the thousands. So many are displayed these days, it’s become completely normal to scream, “I’m not normal.”

Not is the new normal

This phenomenon prompts even more questions. First; Are there now two classifications of normal? The ordinaries who want normal to stay as it’s been for thousands of years. And the radicals who have normalized avoiding being normal.

Remembering, that normal is an average of the population, this gets confusing. Mathematically, there can’t be two averages. This just isn’t done. Unless of course, we’ve created a brand-new norm. Not the Norm I went to high school with, a totally different one. That Norm just wasn’t normal. High school will do that to people.

And how do I bennifit

The second question is more normal to society. How can I make tons of money from my non-normalness? I’ve already mentioned, many of you see me as some kind of guru of the warped thinkers. I could sit on a mountain-top and dispense silly wisdom to unworthy-pilgrims for a hundred-bucks a pop. Worthy-pilgrims would certainly go to better gurus that me.

Then again, I don’t want to sit on a mountain. It’s boring. Heck, I wouldn’t even want to sit on top of a stepladder. I guess I’ll just keep posting in this forum, and hope some of you will feel the need to send me lots of cash. That would normalize my non-normalness.

Or would that be too normal??