*New* The Truth About Cleaning and Pet Happiness

I'm not doing it That’s it, I am never cleaning my house ever again. Wow, that was a bit harsh. Let’s try again; After due deliberation, I’ve decided to never clean my house from here on in. Yes, this is much more socially acceptable. Let’s run with it. If you want to hear me read …

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The Hazards of Subsistute Teaching, and Student Rebellion

I have credentials I don’t think I’ve told you this. If I did, just humor me. I get so little pleasure out of my life. If it makes me happy to tell you something, you should quietly listen. Like when you grandfather tells you the story about how he was fishing and almost caught a …

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The American Take on Tea Ceremonies: Never Invite Your Pets

Pets are not friends I wish my life was simpler. Wouldn’t it be great if only for one day, the cat didn’t use my left leg for a scratching post? Or perhaps, as the dad, I might actually be right just once? And why does Baby-Bun-Bun sit and watch me as if she’s contemplating taking …

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Shopping For Chaos: A Cosmic Conspiracy?

Dear friends, I was wondering… No, that’s a bit too formal. How about; Listen up minions I have a command… Nah, this greeting might be offensive to some folks. Let’s try; Howdy folks, I has me a question… Nope, the cowboy thing went out in the nineties. Wow, those writing teachers are correct. The first …

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Ignoring the Experts: A Comedic Take on Self-Help and Positive Thinking

No More! Well, it’s official. I am never listening to the ‘so called’ experts ever again. There is only one expert whose advice I’ll always heed. That’s the guiding words of the great sage, Charles J. Daughtridge who once said, “What are you asking me for? Do whatever the hell you want. See if I …

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The Bizarre Cult of Overachievers: And Why I’m Not Joining!!

An Interesting hobby A long time ago, in a galaxy not so far, far away, (in fact it was this one), there was Mr. Ohh!. Here I go, stealing beginnings again. This one is from Star Wars. If you knew this, perhaps you’ll grant me a bit of leeway. Either way I’m not planning on …

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The Origin of Mr. Ohh!: A Comedic Revelation

Here I am From time-to-time I like to let you all in on the gloriousness it is to be me. Wow, that was a bit over-bearing. What I mean is; I don’t often talk about myself. Today I’m changing all that. You see, I was asked a question. A question that struck my very identity. …

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How To Cope with Winter Storms: A Humorous Journal

Snowed In In the past two weeks, we have had two major winter storms. We’re currently under two feet of snow. For those of you who don’t know what that means, Congratulations. For those who do, I don’t need to explain it. Either way, I’d rather not talk about it. In truth half of the …

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Understanding ‘From Scratch’: Baking Myths Debunked

Problem Maker If you know anything about me, you’ll know I’m a problem solver. It’s right there on my resume. The second bullet point under the heading of ‘Personal Characteristics’ That’s right at the top below my name, phone number, and the cat’s name. I had to put Capn’ Blood’s name near the top or …

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Finding Creativity in Chaos: A Writer’s Journey

An old beginning “In the high and far off time, oh best beloved, the elephant had no trunk. He had only a blackish bulgy nose, as big as a boot, which he could wriggle about from side to side. But he couldn’t pick up things with it.” These are the opening lines to The Elephant’s …

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