*New* My Boss, a Kitten‑Weapon Calendar, and the Day I Realized Everyone Is Lying

From Boring to Exciting A while ago, I walked into my boss’s office. Actually, I walk into her office several times a day. And frankly, not many of them are very memorable. Most are, in fact, very boring with stuff that would put the average insomniac into forever sleep. I did surprise her once and …

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*My Life as ‘Talent’: Bizarre Confessions of a Proud, Paid Loser

Very quotable “What can be said? When one is unique, one knows it.” This is a quote from Hercule Poirot in Agatha Christie’s novel Black Coffee. I somehow feel very close to this quote. Although I’m not the egomaniac Poirot is. Then again, I look better than a short fat bald man with a huge …

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Why Writers are Unwittingly Artists: A Comedic Insight

Group happenings I was at my writing group a few weeks back when something happened. Actually, a lot of things happened; Rhonda forgot her morning coffee, and was more surly than usual. Not that you care, but Rhonda can be very surly when she wants to be, and without coffee, Wow! She gets that way …

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Bizarre Customer Service Fiascos: From Telephone Robots to Amazon Payment Confusion

Youre all wet Am I the only one who’s experienced this? I called up the water department with a question and got their computer. This isn’t so strange. It would’ve been stranger if I said I didn’t get the computer, a helpful man took my call, answered all my questions in a timely manner, and …

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Navigating Family Chaos: Donuts and Drama!

It's really hard sometimes Life is a challenge. You never know what might come up. You could be walking through your own house wanting to read a book in your favorite chair when suddenly you find the cat is there first. You might be able to move her, but she has sixteen razor-sharp claws and …

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From Joke to Chaos: The Day My Comedy Act Went Horribly, Hilariously Wrong

Have you ever? Have you ever done something that turned out nothing like you wanted? Of course you have. I don’t even know why I asked the question. Everyone has a deep dark oops, which they don’t tell anybody for years. When it eventually comes out, they have to spend several hours explaining, and hundreds …

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The Bizarre Evolution of Parties: From Family Noise to Silent Texting

Family history I remember when I was about twenty, my siblings and I all got together for a game night. There were all six of us, several better halves, and three folks my family just adopted for no apparent reason. They were just always around, and nobody asked why. They could’ve been homeless for all …

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The Truth About Cleaning and Pet Happiness

I'm not doing it That’s it, I am never cleaning my house ever again. Wow, that was a bit harsh. Let’s try again; After due deliberation, I’ve decided to never clean my house from here on in. Yes, this is much more socially acceptable. Let’s run with it. If you want to hear me read …

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The Hazards of Subsistute Teaching, and Student Rebellion

I have credentials I don’t think I’ve told you this. If I did, just humor me. I get so little pleasure out of my life. If it makes me happy to tell you something, you should quietly listen. Like when you grandfather tells you the story about how he was fishing and almost caught a …

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The Bizarre Truth Behind Drug Ads: A Humorous Take

Attention Everyone! This is an important announcement. In fact, it’s really important. Maybe even super important. It might even be super-duper important with a cherry on top. Wow that’s important, I better get on with it. Attention everyone! This is an important announcement. Are your fingernails turning purple? I mean when you didn’t paint them …

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