For those of you who aren't me…and I've noticed a surprisingly large number of people who aren't.
Last year I was in a bar, or pub, biergarten, club, or whatever, for my international followers. Don’t say I never think of you people. Though I still don’t understand why English isn’t English the world over, I still love and respect you. Actually. I’m not sure they use English in the southern US, but …
All right I’m mad. So, whoever’s been steeling my stuff I want you to return it. Right now! I am not going to forgive you, but I need those manuals to survive. What manuals you may ask? The life manuals that I was supposed to receive. The ones everyone else seems to get but never …
In Nineteen-Eighty-Something four of the nine planets aligned. Some said it meant the end of the world. It wasn’t. Unless of course I’m in stasis somewhere floating in the cosmos and dreaming all of you. If that’s true don’t tell me, ignorance is bliss. Actually, I don’t think the world ended so you all can …
How many actors can you name? The bigger question is: Of all those actors how many have had TV shows and movies? The biggest question is: Did any of you think to mention Mr. Ohh!? Yes, I am a professional actor. Don’t start looking for to buy my hair on eBay or searching my trash …
Well another one has come and gone. A holiday whose significance cannot be measured in anyway known to man. Some say it’s a spiritual experience, but I think it’s more than that. Others, who have seen both, feel it comes closer to the vibe of Woodstock with all its music and substances. For me it …
Ladies and gentlemen, it is a somber time for all of us. But there is I group of people that I think should be remembered even though, frankly; they don’t want us to. They are suffering. With all of us staying at home their livelihoods have been completely been disrupted. They won’t be receiving any …
Has anybody, besides me, ever wondered why almost everything is celebrated with Champaign? Seriously all it is, is a dry sparkling white wine. Thinking of it in those terms you can get it anywhere. I know a great Michigan winery which makes a great sparkling white wine for about ten bucks. In contrast, real Champaign …
The Declaration of Independence clearly states that all men, women, and children have inalienable rights. Actually, it doesn’t mention women or children at all, but I was afraid if I didn’t mention them, some group out there would take offense, feel I slighted them in some way, possibly taking to the streets with torches and …
Continue reading We Hold These Truths To Be In Need Of An Explanation
Lefties of the world unite. Are you aware that August 13th is National Lefthanded Day? Now you righties might say “Who Cares?” or you might say “Move your freaking elbow,” if you happen to be sitting next to a lefty. But remember lefties have rights too. Now I understand this may not be as important …
One thing everyone is encouraged to do is summer reading. Where I live, it was almost a requirement. From the tender age of five my elementary school passed out pamphlets promoting summer reading starting in January. Yep, there we were in kindergarten, almost aware of how words went together, and our teachers wanted us to …
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