And I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

I am lost in a confusing world My life just keeps getting messed up, and I can’t figure out why. I have my suspicions, but it concerns my children, and my wife thinks I blame my children far too much. The thing is we have a different view about them. My wife sees my three …

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I Earned It!! I Want That Rose Or Else!

It started so simply 88 Open mouth, insert foot, close mouth. 89 Open mouth, insert foot, close mouth. Oh, I’m sorry, I’m being punished and have to write that one hundred times. Yes, you heard correct. Mr. Ohh! is being disciplined because I did something that not only embarrassed the heck out of one of …

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You Can’t Live With ‘Em And No Exterminater Will Touch ‘Em

My wife and I have a glorious marriage. She tells me we do anyway. Actually, I believe her on this one, because it seems around our house everything runs very smoothly. We have been together long enough that we understand each other’s needs, pick up the slack when one or the other has a bad …

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Will Mr. Likely Please Report To The Police Station?

You may or not believe this but there was a time when caller ID didn’t exist. I don’t know when that was but I read about it in the history books. I do know it would have been handy to have if it was around for the dinosaurs. Imagine a T-Rex with those tiny arms. …

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I Won’t Do It!! And They Can’t Make Me!!!

There are many conspiracy theories all over the globe about shadow governments and secret societies that are hiding in the background covertly running the world for their own fun, profit, and most likely to get some cute girls, because they’re all funny looking. You see, I have found the best-looking women are attracted to powerful …

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Differences In The School Daze

I can’t wait to have grandchildren. I’m going to love telling them how I walked to school, nine days every week, in thirteen feet of snow, during our eight-month winters, uphill both there and back, and this was after we spent four hours collecting cow eggs and milking chickens. How do you milk a chicken? …

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Working With Plumbing Is All Wet

I have come to the conclusion that my sister and wife have joined forces against me. Ohh! They are extremely subtle about it, kind of like the top-secret missions the CIA undertook to get embarrassing photos of Humphrey J Watkins in the 1960’s. You don’t know who Humphrey J Watkins is? Well, I guess those …

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Don’t Worry, Your Father Knows… NOTHING!!

As the father, it is believed that I know everything. My wife believes it, and my children call me the fountain of eternal knowledge. I love these titles and would do anything to maintain this air of mystique, except for one tiny little problem. It’s all a load of refried-monkey-dung. I don’t know what bunk …

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Life Is Better Without A Phone… And Without Children!

Some of you may know and then again some of you may not know. In fact, some of you may not care at all. While others of my readers may care a lot, but I think most of you would rather I quit rambling on with random words and get to the point.  Some people …

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Because Enquiring Marketing Minds Want To Know

Guess what I did this week? On second thought, don’t. There are literally billions of things I might have done and probably millions of things I did do that have nothing to do with that first question. Most of them are stupid and mundane. This week I spent a lot of time breathing, not very …

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