Well Now, That’s As Clear As Mud

No one can talk clearly about the future When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve political bonds which have connect them to another… What? In case you don’t study American history, this is a part of the first line of the American Declaration of Independence. A great …

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Wear Your Life But Don’t Let Anybody See It

Everything starts with a question I have a problem. Well, it’s not so much a problem as a question. But it’s not so much one question as a lot of questions about the same subject. What would you call that? I guess depending in the severity of the questions, that could be a problem. Then …

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Here It Comes! Be Prepared To Cry!!

It always starts with an accomplishment... Well, it’s May. A month for rain, flowers, marriages, graduations, and of course tears. This year my second son, leaves high school for the lofty heights of college. My wife sits around looking through the old albums, with a tear in her eye, whilst I cry much louder for …

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It’s My Civic Duty… But They Won’t Let Me Do It

Many are called A while back I had the honor to be on jury duty for a week. Well maybe honor isn’t the correct word. Perhaps I should say it was a distinction. No, it was more of an experience. I guess that’s not quite right either. I have it. It was more like a …

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The Origin Of Sales or (The Beagle took a dump)

I should have kept my big mouth shut Some great and wise person once said, and I quote, “When In doubt, keep your big mouth shut!” Sadly, this is not a lesson that Mr. Ohh! has been able to learn. You see, I have so much knowledge to spread, I feel it is my duty …

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Ohh! The Horror… Movies

Childhood Beasties Pediatric Psychologists agree, “Monsters under the bed can be a horrible reality for young children.” Toddlers beside the bed are an even worse one for sleeping fathers. My son was especially susceptible to night creatures and kept me awake many a night with his night frights. As the excellent dad Mr. Ohh! is, …

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These Toys Are Not Recommended For Children Over Thirty

A bad week This has been a bad week. In fact, it was a very bad week. Now I don’t normally believe in corporal punishment, but this has been the kind of a week where I’d like to take off my belt and whack it on its Friday a couple times. That’ll teach it. I …

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Cart Wars ep. V The Retire Strike Back

Start with a bad joke I was at the market with my wife the other day and she was picking out some bakery mixes. She sent me to the other end of the aisle to get olive oil. Of course, there was regular, virgin, and extra virgin. I sniggered to myself and called out, “Honey, …

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Alas, Poor Yorick… ICH!!! I’m Holding A Dead Guy’s Skull!

Misunderstanding Shakespeare “Thou mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms!” Huh?? What the heck is that supposed to mean? This line is a direct quote from William Shakespeare, Henry IV: Part 1, and like so much of old Willy I don’t understand a word of it. I got out my handy-dandy dictionary and I looked up the words. First …

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You Can’t Always Get What You Want, But If You Try Sometimes, You’ll Get Confused!!!

A saying to remember There is this great old saying, “Never Send a Cow To Do An Eagles Job.” I don’t know who said it originally, and I really don’t care. It’s a pretty dumb saying. It might have even been me, one night in my youth when I was blasted out of my gourd. …

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