Hormones Aside, I Still Don’t Understand

Yea It's Virtual... When I was younger I was addicted to playing something called ‘Interactive Fiction’ which was just a bunch of difficult puzzling situations in a row until you achieved a goal. In retrospect, it was a lot like raising children, but with more positive feedback. Plus, those games took way less than twenty …

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Everything You Learned Is Wrong!! Well In Kindergarten Anyway

Things Have you ever done a thing? Then another thing happens, and all of a sudden you think of a third thing. Which should be a thing completely unrelated to the other things, but after thing-ing the things a bit longer, you find both things tell you things about the third thing. The third thing …

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Hollywood Has Got It Wrong!!

Pinine for the movies As winter is proceeding according a precedent… That’s a quote from Rudyard Kipling by the way, and some folks doubt my superior intelligence, Ha! Not you of course, you all know. Anyway, as winter is proceeding according a precedent, same quote, I have been visiting my local movie theatre. There I …

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An Animal Is An Animal… Sort Of !!

Being a parent is hard As a parent I feel it is my duty to impart the wisdom I have gained upon my children. However, as a former child I’m fully aware, none of them are going to listen to me. That’s okay though. It’s all part of nature’s wonderful pattern. Children know everything, all …

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If I Want Your Opinion… I’ll Ask Someone Else!

A little bit about me Many times throughout the year, folks ask to know more about the real Mr. Ohh!. They want to see the man behind the genius who imparts so much weekly wisdom, and has so many superb stories. Normally I feel above all that, as I want to live a quiet life …

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Snidley Whiplash, Where Are You When We Need You??

I thought you could trust books Okay enough is too much! My childhood has been officially ruined. It was ruined by a book. Books were always our friends. Books took us to far-off, imaginary places. Books got you out of studying for your algebra test. It’s true. When my mother asked if I was studying, …

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Well Now, That’s As Clear As Mud

No one can talk clearly about the future When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve political bonds which have connect them to another… What? In case you don’t study American history, this is a part of the first line of the American Declaration of Independence. A great …

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Wear Your Life But Don’t Let Anybody See It

Everything starts with a question I have a problem. Well, it’s not so much a problem as a question. But it’s not so much one question as a lot of questions about the same subject. What would you call that? I guess depending in the severity of the questions, that could be a problem. Then …

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Ohh! The Horror… Movies

Childhood Beasties Pediatric Psychologists agree, “Monsters under the bed can be a horrible reality for young children.” Toddlers beside the bed are an even worse one for sleeping fathers. My son was especially susceptible to night creatures and kept me awake many a night with his night frights. As the excellent dad Mr. Ohh! is, …

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Alas, Poor Yorick… ICH!!! I’m Holding A Dead Guy’s Skull!

Misunderstanding Shakespeare “Thou mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms!” Huh?? What the heck is that supposed to mean? This line is a direct quote from William Shakespeare, Henry IV: Part 1, and like so much of old Willy I don’t understand a word of it. I got out my handy-dandy dictionary and I looked up the words. First …

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