A little bit about me

Many times throughout the year, folks ask to know more about the real Mr. Ohh!. They want to see the man behind the genius who imparts so much weekly wisdom, and has so many superb stories. Normally I feel above all that, as I want to live a quiet life in my modest but delightful home, just being the perfect person that I am. I know many blogs like to be journals into the lives of those folks writing them, and I read many of those. I prefer to use this forum to improve your lives rather than promote mine. Just another way in which I’m so wonderful.

However, today you are all in for a treat. I’m going to tell you all something about myself. Feel free to take notes, and add this information to all those scrapbooks you are undoubtedly keeping. I understand your admiration. It’s just another thing we celebrities must deal with.

Probably more than you wanted

The fact is I’m in love with dragons. All dragons, both big and small. I adore both Chinese dragons as well as the more modern European dragon and their cousin the wyvern. I can probably name ten dragons from fiction off the top of my head. I can tell you the first recorded dragon was named Kur and was discovered in ancient Sumer, now Iraq, around three-thousand B.C. The first Chinese dragon was called Loong Long and was the bringer of peace and harmony. Most early dragons were more like serpents with no wings or legs. For those of you who aren’t asleep as yet, you should have guessed, I like dragons.

I even have a dragon calendar with pictures by artist Boris Vallejo. My wife questions if I’m looking at the fierce beasts or the scantily clad busty women who are also invariably in every picture. I assure her it’s the dragons. However, since this is a day for truth, I’ll say this; I buy the pictures for the dragons, but I keep them for years because of the women. I’m not stupid.

  When it comes to dragons, the thing I don’t comprehend at all is teenagers. Not teenaged dragons of course, teenaged humans. Then again, I’ve never been very fond of them, in any situation. However, when it comes to dragons, I get especially irate. Perhaps I should explain, or I could just let you all remain confused. That’s the way my teens leave me constantly.

Upsetting decisions

You see, my son and I were in a local art museum. As we were leaving, I saw some pictures in the gift shop. One was a Welsh Red dragon sitting on top of a mountain overlooking pristine green farmland. The second was a vicious green and black beast, breathing fire, burning the forest, and bar-b-cueing peasants for a midnight snack. I was in geek heaven. I was like a kid in a dragon store. Kids like dragons too, you know.

The thing is, I had to make a choice between buying the red, or the green, or getting a divorce and purchasing both. While I stood there deciding how much I really loved my wife, my son came by and reminded me, I probably couldn’t get along without her. Therefore, that choice was out. I asked him which he preferred? First, he asked where I was planning to hang the thing. I told him, assuming it wasn’t going straight to the attic the moment my wife saw it. She has final say over all decorating decisions, and most other things. Anyway, he looked at both, thought for a second, and said, “I think you’ll have an easier time getting the red past mom, but you’ll want to have the green one long term. My brother will probably want the red as well and his room is closest. Princess has the most sway with mom and she would definitely want the green. Then again, when grandma comes over that green one would probably scare her and she won’t go near the upstairs bathroom. On the other hand…” I stopped him before he got to his aunts, uncles and the preference of the king of Monte Carlo, should he happen to stop by. All those words and I still didn’t know his opinion. I asked what he thought again, and this time got the typical teenager answer, “I don’t care”

So it’s suddenly about someone else

So, there it was, I got his opinions on everybody else’s opinion, but not his opinion. I hate that, and lots of people do it. I have a coworker that’s even worse. We’re in a meeting and going around the table with thoughts on a client. Instead of saying, “I have no thoughts.” Which is completely valid by the way. She goes into an hour diatribe about how Bob’s thoughts are this and Jerry’s ideas are that, and Mr. Ohh! is perfect. I don’t need all that. All I want is your opinion.

I know some folks say, “If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you”. In fact, I do this all the time seeing as how mine is just so much better than others, but this is beside the point. If I ask for your opinion don’t give me Aunt Tilly’s opinion, I want yours. I was in a Focus Group once and one guy kept telling us what he thought the customers might think. The leader just couldn’t get it through his thick head; They want to know what you think, not somebody else. That’s the whole point on the thing.

What the philosophers said

Of course, it is possible, you have no opinion. Well, that’s no excuse. You should have one. Opinions are what separate man from the lower forms of life. like politicians for instance. They are granted to us by the creator, in order to annoy the snot out of others. This is how others now they’re alive. As DeHorse once said… No, it was Descartes. I’m so used to putting DeHorse before Descartes, “Angebatur ergo sum” which means “I’m annoyed therefore I am”. Others need our opinions to validate their existence. When I asked for my son’s opinion it was not a request it was a need. On the other hand, his lack of opinion, and subsequent bad answer did annoy me greatly, so I guess he did his job.

This being said, you don’t know everyone’s opinion. You can’t say what mom would want unless that is what you are asked. Then you can say, “I think mom would like…” you see this in an opinion as well. It is what you think. When my son answered the way he did, it didn’t answer the question. If I say, “What do you think?” and you say, “I think the world is flat.” You’ve answered the question correctly. Although, I’ll probably have you hauled away. If I say, “What do you think about candy?” and you answer, “Mom Loves it” as so many do. You haven’t answered the question, but you have annoyed me. I suppose there are plusses and minuses.

Make it a better world

I say give your opinion, even when people don’t want it. If they ask you, give them several opinions. Make them feel alive by annoying them a lot.

They’ll thank you for it.