For those of you who aren't me…and I've noticed a surprisingly large number of people who aren't.
The Declaration of Independence clearly states that all men, women, and children have inalienable rights. Actually, it doesn’t mention women or children at all, but I was afraid if I didn’t mention them, some group out there would take offense, feel I slighted them in some way, possibly taking to the streets with torches and …
Continue reading We Hold These Truths To Be In Need Of An Explanation
Today my eldest son cost me one-hundred-thirty-six dollars and forty-seven cents. Why you ask? Wait, you’re not asking? Please, someone ask. I mean it’s been a long week and if no one asks I’ll have to think about something else to talk about. And believe me, this one was hard to come up with. Wait …
Well, Ho-Ho-Ho, and raise your glass of eggnog. Christmas has passed. The winter blues will set in soon, and life will get back to whatever amount of chaos you call “Normal”. Sure, some of you have a few holiday get-togethers to finish up, and of course there’s the annual drunken binge/ hangover festival we have …
Continue reading If You re Going To Toss Your Cookies, Look The Other Way
Deck the halls and make merry. Tis the season to celebrate the wearing of ugly sweaters. Yes, late December has arrived and once again it has brought along with it the sticky gooey eggnogs and the lies to our children. Oh, I’m not talking about the Santa Claus myth. I believe in Santa completely. I’ve …
Well, October is over. The leaves have changed, and Halloween has come and gone. We can now look forward to, brisk November mornings, delicious Thanksgiving feasts, and a complete lack of baseball. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like baseball. I love baseball. There’s nothing like the feel of the sun on …
Continue reading I Will Do Anything For Sports… But I Won’t Do That
Boy, have I had an eventful week. Also, I have to re-evaluate my opinions about all those conspiracy theorists. There are things going on and I have stumbled upon the greatest among them, so here is my story as best I can remember after the debriefing. If You Want To Hear Me Read This CLICK …
This may surprise many of you, and I hesitate to mention it due to the panic it may cause. Wow isn’t that a great beginning? I’m not sure what I should do. If I keep quiet and don’t tell, then I’ll have to come up with a new topic for this post. On the other …
Continue reading Flyers To The Left Of Me, Pamphlets To The Left, Rode The 600
When my father was ten-years-old, he went to my grandfather and asked him for ten dollars to buy a game. You might have heard of the type, cardboard playing space with cards and various plastic pieces. So much for the ancient history class. You probably weren’t interested in this fact at all. And I’d be …
Boy! Talk about your moral dilemmas. I am shocked, appalled and very confused. As a writer I understand I can be slightly controversial, and as a comedian I understand I have to be careful, in this age of political correctness, not to offend anybody, but I never realized I was diverting from the path of …
Continue reading So I Unpacked My Adjectives… And Threw Them Away
I have a serious question. Well, not earth shattering, but it feels kind of important to me. I hesitate to ask it, because it might be the eternal stupid question everyone is looking for. Don’t doubt its existence, and don’t try to sweep it under the rug with patient denial. You know you’re doing it. …
Mr. Ohh!'s Sideways View 