The bad and the good of it

I’m not one to jump up on a soap box and start criticizing the world. Well, actually I am. But I’m not someone who tries to impose my views on others. Okay, I do that too. But I’m certainly not the type of person who looks at everyone as fools if they don’t agree with me. I guess I’m guilty of this as well. Hmm, I’m a pretty nasty person, but when you’re right all the time you have a responsibility to give harsh realities to the masses.

That’s the ticket. I really a good person doing the world a favor by pointing out its flaws in the hopes of a better tomorrow. Wow! I’m even better than I thought. Either way, now that we’ve established the reasons, I do all this bad stuff, I should start doing it without further ado.

American Thanksgiving is the start

The thing is, with the passing of American Thanksgiving, the world has entered the holiday season. I’m not sure why the world should keep track of American Thanksgiving. Even I don’t see it as a banner day in the year. Yes, you get together with family and friends, and eat yourself into a coma. That’s the plus side. However, after that it’s a massive amount of clean up and leftovers.

Also, if some of the stories are to be believed, most families don’t want to get together, but they call it tradition and regret every minute of it. They wonder how big the political argument between uncle Frank and cousin Enya will be. They hope the game won’t go so long that the men will come to the table before the food gets cold. They question whether there is enough beer in the fridge for mom’s brothers. Actually, that was a trick question. There isn’t enough beer in the world for those two. As holidays go, this one contains just as much frustration as it does tradition, and food. I myself cook twice this weekend; Once for family, and once for a big friend party. Every year I ask myself if the cleaning-up is worth it, but somehow in the ensuing year I forget about the huge mess and repeat all past mistakes. But this is not my point, and I should get back to it.

But where will it end

Anyway, for some unknown reason Americans giving thanks sparks the world into a holiday frenzy. Some love it, and some don’t. It’s really up to you. However, I have learned you control your destiny in more ways than you know. It’s kind of a Zen “If the student is ready, the master will appear.” thing. Or in this case: If you believe in Santa Claus, he’ll come down the chimney. Provided the fires not lit. But I digress.

Be loud and proud

For example, there is an entire industry creating ugly Christmas sweaters. These are used primarily for Ugly Christmas Sweater Parties. Consequently, most folks have one, but never wear them. My question is; Why? Why own it if you don’t wear it? I say, “Wear that sucker proudly!”

Wear it to business meetings, and client offices. Wear it to the grocery store and the auto mechanic. About the only place I don’t suggest you don’t wear it, is to the gas station. Some anti-social idiot could douse you with gasoline and set you ablaze. It likely won’t happen, but why take chances.

Many of you are probably thinking, “Mr. Ohh! That might make people look at me! I can’t have that. I want to be even less than a face in a crowd.” If you think you’re not one of them, stay with me nonetheless, you’re probably in denial anyway. You see I am a person who likes to be seen in this holiday time. I wear bright colors and sing holiday songs loudly.

Be like Mr. Ohh!

There are a few like me. I do admit many are wearing colorful straight-jackets but I’m omitting them for the time being. It’s just that I find it the ultimate enigma, old man Grumps puts up five-thousand-dollars’ worth of lights and decorations on his house, then complains when folks block traffic stopping in front to look at them. If you decorate, be proud of your work. Let the people come to see it.

 Of course, Grumps is also guilty of having the greatest display on the block, then going out in black clothes like he was going to a funeral. How do you really feel? Do you like Christmas with your decorations? Or are you against them with your outward appearance? Make up your mind Grumps! I say, “If you decorate your yard, you should be required to decorate yourself too”

Not a Grinch or Scrooge

Another, confusing thing is how many folks decorate with Scrooge and Grinch themes. These are the characters who don’t like the holidays. Why should we display them so prominently? Folks, proudly display their grinches, but it’s always so confusing as to if it’s before or after he stole Christmas. You can’t predict the attitude.

 Scrooge is even stranger. At last count there was fifty-thousand-nine-hundred-seventy-two versions of Dickens’ Christmas Carol. There are cartoons, comedies, musicals, parodies, satires, puppets, and single-celled-organisms all playing a part. Some take place in Victorian England, but that’s not a requirement either. They’re all over the world, past present and future. The thing is They’re all the same! Who in their right mind decided this was a good idea? It’s not!!! But now I’m just ranting and not even on topic. So, let’s rein it in and get back to decorating. Phew! Anyway, I was gone I’m back now.

Express yourself

What I’m trying, quite unsuccessfully, to say is; We decorate our homes for the holidays. We decorate our businesses for the holidays. We decorate trees for the holidays. Some of us even decorate our children and pets for the holidays, but we don’t decorate ourselves. Or, if we do we hide those decorations at a clandestine party where only a chosen few can see. I say no fair. It’s time to come out of the party.

I dress up in my holiday finery every year and get nothing but compliments. Only a very few folks look at me as if I were stoned, so it works out. You should too. Dress up, not look at me like I was stoned. Two years ago, I wrote a song called Puttin’ On The Elf and this is the message. Go out in your best red and green togs. Who cares what anybody else thinks. Be bold! Be Crazy! Be an Elf!

Be the young person you want to be No matter how old you are

It’s funny but this observation has been made by many people. Every generation of younger people want to be total individuals. As long as they can do it just like everybody else. I don’t know how old you are, but when you were younger you thought that way. You know you did. Well, now you’re older. It’s time to be a real individual. Maybe we’ll be lucky, and a whole lot of people will listen to me. You can all be individuals together, and start wearing elf costumes. Of course, by then, I’ll probably be telling you all to dress in a frock coat and top hat like Scrooge, but hey that’s just how I roll.

And here’s the song!