Amazing things

Do you know what always amazes me? A lot of things actually. You would be hard pressed to pick one thing. Frankly, if you bothered to answer the question at all, you had a better than ninety percent chance you’d be right no matter what you said. Forget I mentioned it. It was truly a stupid question.

What amazes me on this late December day, is how fast Christmas disappears. Every year it pushes further back, up to and including Christmas In July. Yet the minute boxing day hits, all the stores seem to say, “Christmas? No, Sabe’ Christmas?” That last was Spanish for, “I don’t understand” for those of you who didn’t know. Wow, even when I’m baffled by events of the day my worldly intelligence shines through. Am I truly that incredible? I guess I am. But enough about me, let’s get back to it.

It all comes down to looks

What I’m getting at is; There are hundreds of decorations in every store, city, and shopping plaza on Christmas eve, but the day after they’re all gone. Poof! Suddenly, in that moment, all the holiday cheer is gone.

Music services are just as bad. I had a holiday playlist I liked to hear sometimes. I listened to it on the Christmas Eve. On the twenty-sixth, I thought it might be nice to hear it once more. It was gone. No hint of it existed. I was able to look up individual holiday songs, but before each of the was a disclaimer, “I’ll play this tune, but just so you know I’m not the stupid idiot who asked for it. Now are you really sure you want this? There may be a social stigma attached to you, and you may never get another date for the rest of your life.” Of course, as a married man, this wasn’t a real problem. My wife knows I’m strange. I played the songs anyway.

Look out

It seems, we are transported overnight, to a period of looking forward to the promises, and challenges of the new year. More challenges actually. The media love challenges. They love conflict so much, when they don’t have enough, they create some of their own. But more on that later.

On this week of looking forward, and backward for that matter, we are reminded of celebrities we lost. Most of whom we didn’t even know existed. I remember one year there was a long article about a guy who died, and his contribution to the world was an improvement to ladies’ undergarments. He was heralded as a pioneer in the field. However, while I know something of his products, and liked what I saw, I never knew anything of him. Nor cared.

Looking both ways

We are also, reminded of every bad thing that happened in the news. You gotta love the media. They just can’t resist rehashing a disaster. “Do you remember that story, when nine-hundred died because Bigfoot attacked that small camper. Then the legislature got hold of the story, and started smoking the cannabis the campers used. The assembly almost suffocated when a nest of squirrels collapsed the ventilation system. It was a tree rodent massacre. Ohh sorry, did you think it was people that died?”

Of course, the great part is, because we look both directions the reporter goes on to say, “Lawmakers are still debating who is at fault. Although they have indicted six people, and seven squirrels. Also, the courts have subpoenaed Bigfoot to testify later this month. Sadly, we could not reach Bigfoot’s lawyer for comment. We will continue to bring you details as they come up.” The sad part in all this is the only legislation to come out of the mess is they legalized the cannabis for recreational use.

Look what’s happening

As it turns out, we get even more of the newsy stuff this year than most. Maybe that’s why we were cut off from the holiday so quickly. Those newsies, have to get to their bad news as fast as possible. I mean they do this, to some degree every year, but this year they have something to dig their teeth into. This upcoming year the United States has a presidential election. I probably really didn’t need to mention this. I doubt if anyone in the world didn’t know. If you didn’t, I’m very sorry I had to be the one to tell you.

Now, I understand why Americans need to know about this. What I don’t understand is why we need to know it every second of every minute of every hour of every day. However, the media knows why, and they make sure we know. Hat’s off to them for being thorough, but can’t you have a few slackers once in a while. Every place I’ve ever worked, had slackers that slowed things down. Why can’t they? I really wouldn’t mind hearing about Martha Koslowski’s water skiing dog once in a while. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if the dog is found to be more intelligent than all the candidates. I wonder if he’s running. Sorry, I was just thinking out loud.

Don’t look Back

As the new year comes around, we can’t avoid the topic of resolutions. Every person in the world has a joke about them, and how they only last a week or so. Of course, our social scientists have taken care of this as well. Did you know that January 12^th is actually celebrated as Quitters Day? Truth! Since we’re breaking our resolutions by then, psychologists say that is the day we should recommit or give up. Most of us just scrap the holiday and quit early to beat the rush. What do psychologists know anyway?

I don’t think you should make resolutions on New Years, or any other time. You’re perfect the way you are. I was talking to a counselor friend of mine, and she says disappointment leads resolutions, and breaking them lead to disappointment. It’s an endless cycle. I say look at yourself and laugh. Be stupid, and happy. If you do, you’ll lose all the stressors and your life will improve on its own. I have no proof of my hypothesis, but I have a story. A friend’s father was diagnosed with heart failure. He was given a year to live IF he cut out all salt, pasta, red meat, and fat. The man put his affairs in order, and ate everything he wanted. He wasn’t going to die eating canned peaches. If he was going anyway, it was going to be full of steak. He lived ten years and died in an automobile accident.

Look out for yourself

Improve your life by improving your attitude, not by making yourself miserable. Wow! Did that bit of wisdom come out of me? I knew I was good, but not that good. I amaze myself sometimes. Anyway, look forward, or look back. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you laugh. And if you ever need something to laugh at, you can laugh at me. I can handle it, and I’m right here all the time. Boy, I’m being strangely philosophical today. Maybe someone slipped me some of that cannabis, without my knowledge. Although, I haven’t seen Bigfoot yet.

But the year’s early. We’ll have to see.

And have a Happy Ney Year