The Ghost Of Christmas Past
My grandmother used to tell us about Christmas when she was a little girl. Apparently, they cleaned the whole house, and set up their tree on Christmas Eve. They actually had real candles on that tree to light it up. I guess pine trees weren’t flammable back then. Well, either that, or great grandpa was too stingy, and trying to save a buck on his electric bill. Who knows? However, when I suggested trying this to my father, I was told in no uncertain terms that this was a fire hazard. Then again great grandpa was in the home, so maybe now we all know the reason. Again, who knows?
The reason I told you all this was because they also took down that very same tree on New Year’s Eve. One week. That was their Christmas. Now I don’t want to criticize how she, or anyone else for that matter, celebrates their holiday but I think this is a little excessive. I mean, when I was growing up my father, who didn’t celebrate anything, even he gave us two weeks for celebration. All right, my family is weird. It’s the type of family that should’ve produced more than our share of axe murderers.
Personally, I wish we would’ve. Yes, a portion of my family was burned as witches in Bohemia, but I think axe murderers are so much cooler. Don’t you? I mean, sure, there’s the guy whose farm was burned, turned into a thief, and stole jewels from the castle. That’s kinda cool. Also, I have a great uncle who ran whiskey from Canada during prohibition, and a Rock Star in my family tree. But I don’t know, I just think an axe murderer is the kind of thing you can be properly ashamed of, while secretly being proud of, at the same time. Then again this isn’t why I started this post, and has no bearing on what I want to say, so I guess you can all just forget it.
Then came the present
When I was a young man of eighteen, I set out from my home to make my way in the world. Actually, I didn’t, but it sounded really good. What really happened was that I got a job and found out that most of the world has a longer holiday season than we did. My job was in retail electronics and I learned the rest of the world had a month-long holiday season starting after American Thanksgiving, the third Thursday of November. Now the Friday after, was the official start of the shopping season so it was always a busy day, but it was not the end all be all. I do remember having to stay late the day before to reset the store for Christmas, but the thing is, this gave the holiday season a definitive start.
I don’t know how or when it happened, but one year, the mysterious cooperate entities sent the word down from on high that Christmas decorations were to be put up the weekend before Thanksgiving. The turkey day sales, and inflatables were to stay, but they didn’t want to pay the overtime, so decorations got an early start. This sounded harmless enough, but to some of us, it was like one holiday was starting to annex the territory of another. It just wasn’t done. However, as in so many political situations of this kind, nothing was done. My associates and I just grumbled and did as we were told. That’s how it happens, the masses just doing as they’re told. We could have stood against this tyranny, but it seemed so innocent, and honestly, we didn’t want to stay till ten-o’clock decorating and making no commissions. Cash once again ruled the day, and we lost the week to the onslaught.
Something strange was happening but we fought back
Two years later, there were no Thanksgiving sales. Also, the decorations went up two weeks before the date. Next, we were told to play holiday music from that day. I stood against this. I rallied a few other managers and we pushed back as hard as we could. Our resistance lasted all of one season. The next year they sent cooperate stormtroopers to ensure we complied with the new directives. Three of us held out, against the oncoming hoard. They decided to make an example of Bill Makey. When they arrived at his store, he was still playing popular music. They dragged him away, kicking and screaming, to their lofty heights, and when he returned, he had a glazed look in his eye, and was spouting the company line. If they could do this to Bill, we knew we had failed.
Very soon after, the holiday season started on November first. As it happens, this is the day after Halloween, another great American holiday. Then it wasn’t very long when it was decided, you didn’t need to be closed all day on Thanksgiving and we were required to open after dinner with really amazing deals. About this time, I left the business. Yes, this revolutionary gave up back in the day, but some things were just too hard to swallow. I am told this practice has since stopped but, it’s all too little, too late.
The day after is now called Black Friday. The big-wigs would like you to believe that it’s called this because without it stores won’t finish in the black. Those of us, who lived through it, know the truth. It is the day Thanksgiving was conquered, and a wreath should be laid in a cranberry bog somewhere.
However there is sitll hope
This may be a sad, post but there is hope. Halloween has taken a hard stand against the ravaging attackers. Those pumpkin kings and spiders are holding a hard line. What’s even greater is the people are with them. More and more I am seeing monster blow-ups and zombie models rising up in people’s yards standing firm against an onslaught of red and green which is clamoring to get through.
But Halloween needs help. It can’t do it alone. I realize those of my world-wide audience may not understand all this, but this could happen to you to. Who knows where Christmas will attack next. I have even written the first folk song as a push back. It’s coming in a moment, but I have to clearly state. Contact Your Leaders Before It’s Too Late! OR Better Yet Send Me Cash!
Ok Here’s the song, It’s sung to the beginning of American Pie by Don McClean
A Long, long, time ago
I remember when Thanksgiving used to be a haze
And I knew if I cooked a bird
The family all would spread the word
And we would celebrate for many days
But Santa Claus just wasn’t slowin’
Moving past when it was snowin’
Stomping down our green beans
Surrounding us with pine trees
I can’t remember if I cried
When I saw those plates, all piled high
But turkey rolled round my insides
The day Thanksgiving Died
So, Bye Bye to the big pumpkin pie. We’re not stopping, cause we’re shopping for that great Christmas Prize. Me and the boys are headed to the Best Buy, Hoping my wives in the long Walmart line. Hope she’s not too far down the line!
How about a cup?
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