Mother

Recently, my siblings, and I, moved my mother into a senior living facility. I was very worried. When I was a senior in college, we did nothing but party. My mother may have been a party girl at one time, but these days she lives a more sedate existence. I just didn’t see her being comfortable with the loud music, and half naked coeds running around drinking beer at all hours of the night.

I later found out that college seniors are not allowed to live in senior living places. I was even more confused. If you’re a senior you should be allowed to live with other seniors in senior living. It was at the introduction meetings, where I learned all seniors are not the same. I was aghast. This is America for crying out loud. If all men are created equal, why aren’t all seniors?

Before I took to the streets with protest signs it was explained to me. The word ‘senior’ simply means older. It has no other meaning. However, we give it many. In schools, it means ‘about to graduate’. In living spaces, it means ‘past retirement age’. In sports it means, ‘you don’t play good no more, but if you want to keep doing it, we’ll create a new league for you’.

In my mom’s case there actually is a perfect word for her and others; Elderly. Sadly no one wants to be elderly. No matter how elder they get. For this reason, that perfect word is banned. Society would rather be confusing and re-run other overused words, like senior, or the word ‘Adult’.

Adult??

  Adult, is essentially a scientific term referring to the maturity on an animal. However, governments use it as a stopping point. The point at which children no longer required their parents. That’s a laugh! I know lots of supposed adult children who can’t even get out of bed in the morning without the help of their parents. As far as the maturity aspect of the word. I’ll believe that when they figure out the dog needs to go outside to poop. Let’s just say, I’m never changing the carpet until they mature up and remember to keep up with that.

Another incarnation of the ‘adult’ word is Adult Entertainment. Recently I was in the hospital overnight. My roommate, who was five older, and I had a very entertaining time watching Kim Possible. She’s a cartoon character who balances, saving the world, with algebra and cheerleading. I always thought high-school was tough enough without dealing with super villains whose only goal is world domination. Then again, I’m pretty lazy, but I digress.

Anyway, that cartoon seriously entertained at least two adults, but it doesn’t qualify as adult entertainment. It’s family entertainment. I don’t understand this either. My family stayed as far away from that hospital as they could. Frankly, they were more entertained by avoiding me. I agree with this. If you ever met my family, you’d know; Life is far more entertaining without them around.

Not Necessarily

Just as family entertainment is better without family, Adult Entertainment, makes you act like a child. Without getting into too much detail, I’ve seen folks partaking in adult entertainment and they usually look like they’re embarrassed to be seen by other people. Doesn’t sound very entertaining to me. With all the blushing faces, I can’t help feeling that people act very immature around adult entertainment.

Considering, adult means mature. Things get even more puzzling. The way I see it is; Adult entertainment changes people into children, and children’s cartoons are revered by adults. If I’m wrong, let me know. But that’s how I see things.

I don’t understand all this. There are one-hundred-seventy-thousand words in the English language, and most folks only use about ten percent of them. That’s really stupid when you consider we attach multiple meanings to the few we use. Consider the word ‘Tip’ it has four meanings which are completely different.

Well I Mean…

Someone gave me a tip about a restaurant on the tip of a mountain. The service was good, but at one point the table tipped. Also, the server demanded a thirty percent tip. I’m sure you all could understand this story, but it’s only one word. There are other words folks!

Then there’s the word, ‘Charge’, which can denote three different things; Charge ahead, Electrical charge, and Charge something on a card. Again, it doesn’t make sense. Am I taking a loan whenever I move forward? Or if I do that, will I receive and electric shock? Perhaps I’m planning to charge ahead, charge the supplies on my card, and fix the wire that gives me a charge? Naw, it’s probably not that. I’m pretty lazy actually.

Words are the foundation of communication. If we’re not sure what they mean, we can’t communicate. I used to wonder why so many students graduate with Degrees in Communications. Now I know. We don’t know how to talk to each other. You actually have to take college level courses to order a hamburger at the drive thru. Maybe, we should go back to one word, “Ug” and leave it at that. But I digress. 

Of course, in the idiocy of humans, the reverse is also true. Did you know there are seventeen ways to say “Hello” in English. I’ve heard all of them used at one time or another. The thing is even with all these, folks still go outside the box and greet friends with, Hola, Bonjour, and the ever popular, Sup.

College Smarts

I understand it might seem fancy to greet friends in another language, but Sup?? Sup is a verb meaning; To Eat. What the heck does that have to do with greeting friends? Is it an invitation to dinner? If it is, you’re missing a whole bunch of details. A college friend of my son’s greeted me with, “Sup?” the other day. I answered, “I’m busy today. How about tomorrow at five?” It blew his mind. Of course, my son rolled his eyes and yelled at me, “Dad, can you be normal for once?”

I was being normal. If you look at normal, it has two meanings.  In my case, normal means; Acting in a typical fashion. Even though it was upsetting to him, that’s exactly what I was doing.

The other definition of normal is; An average behavior for a given set. If you ask; What is normal for humans? I have two answers. First, if normal is an average, it includes all extremes as well as the middle. With all that data, no one falls precisely into normal.

Second, most people I see do, and say, stupid things all the time. I’ll admit I said something silly and uncalled for. However, for the set called humans, that’s completely normal.

Consider what a college education is. It’s supposed to make a person think more and rise above the pack. In this case, colleges all over the world are factories for destroying the normal. My educated son was asking me to be something he is working hard, and paying a lot of cash, to prevent himself from becoming. That’s hypocrisy. Which, I’m happy to say, is a word that has only one meaning.