It Was Broke… And Now I Am!!

A nice little story Imagine a small pristine country town surrounded by orchards, dairy farms and fields of corn. The town square has six buildings; A church, A store that sells everything, but it’s not Walmart. You have to drive ten miles to get to one of those. How inconvenient! Anyway, there’s also an abandoned …

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Cart Wars ep. V The Retire Strike Back

Start with a bad joke I was at the market with my wife the other day and she was picking out some bakery mixes. She sent me to the other end of the aisle to get olive oil. Of course, there was regular, virgin, and extra virgin. I sniggered to myself and called out, “Honey, …

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You Can’t Always Get What You Want, But If You Try Sometimes, You’ll Get Confused!!!

A saying to remember There is this great old saying, “Never Send a Cow To Do An Eagles Job.” I don’t know who said it originally, and I really don’t care. It’s a pretty dumb saying. It might have even been me, one night in my youth when I was blasted out of my gourd. …

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The Guy Who Invented This Should Be Shot!

Not the best of times It was the worst of times and trust me I didn’t need two cities to know it was, because I was in the drive-thru line, at a local hamburger place. If I had another city, some best of times might’ve shown up, but I couldn’t have gotten there anyway. I …

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Even Mr. Ohh! Isn’t This Cheesy

A cheesy State I would like to tell you all about the great state of Wisconsin, USA. All you lovers of bad jokes now want me to say, “I’d like, to but I can’t! Har, Har” This is not true, so there. However, I did exaggerate when I said great. Nice, or okay, might’ve been …

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Talk Fast And Never Ever Be Understood!!

A word And now a word from our sponsor. This is a famous line, which has been used since the days of the Pharaohs, to announce that a commercial is coming. Of course, in the days of ancient Egypt it would have been said like this: this: <arm, water, hand> <water, quail chick, quail chick> <arm> <quail chick, quail …

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As If Holiday Shopping Wasn’t Hard Enough!!

Welcome Christmas Fa who foraze Well, the Christmas season is upon us. Now, I know the reason for the season and why we celebrate. Plus, it’s very important to donate to various charities and help at food banks this time of year, but I’m also very greedy. I love to get gifts. Experience has taught …

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A Lovely Bouquet With Notes Of Tangerine And Raw Sewage

Like many people around the world, I drink a cup of coffee most every morning. Unlike many of those people I drink it black. Why? Because I like the taste of coffee. Not just the idea of coffee the actual taste. My uncle tells me he loves the taste of coffee as much as I …

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Nickle, Nickle, Dime It’s Commercial Time

My aunt Grace is a lovely lady. Senile, crazy, nuts, out of touch, sure, but lovely. My daughter and I went to visit her last week and she put out of a bowl of snacks. Now, you may ask what my aunt would put out for snacks. You may not, because experience would make Chips …

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It’s Cold, Wet,And Good For You… What More Do You Want??

In this life there are certain things we as humans need: Clean air to breathe, Sparkling water to drink, Wholesome food to eat, and a great mechanic with good prices to keep our cars going. Remember, when I say sparkling water, I mean that it sparkles when the sun hits it as it flows down …

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