Stop Smoking!!! Make Brownies

I’m not a political person. I think all politicians are all idiots, but then again so am I, and since it takes one to know one, I guess it does make me uniquely qualified to talk about them. I admit, I do enjoy reading about them. In The United States, the speaker of the house and the minority leader, have become my favorite comedy team. I can’t understand how they say stuff with a straight face. “I want to investigate poverty in Africa so I’ll need to go on a fact-finding mission to Hawaii.” Another good one I heard was, “Yes that contractor built me four houses, but there was nothing wrong. I did grant him several billion in contracts, but I also paid thirty-five dollars for those houses.” They’re like comedian and straight man all in one. However, this doesn’t even scratch the surface.

If you want to hear me read this Press Play If not read on

I don’t know what it’s like where you are, but where I am the politicians are also very confusing. This might be a universal trait but sometimes I long for the strait-laced comfort of a dictator wafting over me like a warm wind, and I breathe easy in the knowledge that at least something predictable will happen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in love with dictators but at least you know what will happen when they take power. That’s re-assuring in our chaotic world.

Democracy is a better form of government. I’m not disputing that. The thing is that when a democracy takes power, confusion reigns. You never know what will happen. You might get a constitution, or you might just get a trial for the former leader. You never know if the elected officials will have a majority or who they might have to join forces with to form the government. Heck there might even be another coup, and then the whole process will have to start all over again.

On the other hand, there is never any confusion when a dictator takes over. He has his enemies shot, the dissidents imprisoned, and then violates everybody’s civil rights, which they don’t really have because it’s a dictatorship. After that’s finished, all that’s left to do is erect a few statues to himself and redecorate the palace. Easy Peasy! Remember, I’m not saying any of this stuff is good or right, I’m just saying it’s predictable. And sometimes predictable is kind of nice, as opposed to confusing.

The reason I bring this up is that the congress of the USA is the most confusing of all. Listen to this story: Some years back the Democrats in our congress really wanted to outlaw smoking. Now this is a multi-billion-dollar industry so of course it wasn’t easy. Anyway, they worked and fought and fought and worked until finally smoking was illegal in all public buildings. Hooray, good for them. Well maybe.

You see, after a success like this they went right to work on their next agenda item; the legalization of marijuana. Think about this a second. They struggled for over ten years to stop folks from smoking tobacco, so they could turn around and start people smoking weed. So smoking isn’t bad, what you smoke is the determining factor. I wonder where oregano fits in this scheme? Here’s the real rub; In most states it is legal to smoke marijuana, but if you apply for a job, and they do a drug test, and it’s found in your system, you can get fired. So, it’s only kinda sorta legal. Does this make sense to any one? I told you democracies are confusing.

Remember I said that smoking was a multi-billion-dollar industry. I’m sure everybody in congress thought the day they made smoking illegal, all those companies would just say, “Okay, we’re sorry”, and just lock the doors and send everybody home. Nope! They created vaping. No more nasty cigarettes, no they liquify the smoking stuff and you just breathe it in. So, thanks politicians. You outlawed cheap cigarettes in favor of a more expensive product. And now, it comes in all sorts of new flavors now like watermelon-tangerine and raspberry-apple, Good-bye menthol, there’s a new taste king in town. Some of this stuff you just want to try, even if you never smoked in your life. More money for the companies, you tried to put out of business. That will show them.

That’s not even the most confusing part. Fireworks like all explosives are dangerous. I think we can all agree on that. Therefore, special precautions must be taken in their use. Where I live, you actually have to have a very expensive license to use them. This is safe. Good job government! Then again anybody over the age of eighteen can buy all the fireworks they want, as long as they promise to not set them off. Wink, Wink!! They make it “legal” by making you sign a paper but never check to see if your fingers are crossed.

Now, of course, no one I know has ever broken this law, but the funny thing is there thirty to forty fireworks displays, being set off on my street alone every American Independence Day. I may not know everything, but I’m almost sure that they all don’t have licenses. A lot of the fools don’t even wait that long to flaunt the law. But do any of those malcontents go to jail or get fined? Not a one. The police ignore them as harmless. So, is it against the law or not? Very confusing.

The reason I bring all this up is that a respected person in my life suggested I look into trying marijuana to relax. You may have thought Mr. Ohh! was already on drugs but I’m not. The thought cut me to the quick. You see recreational weed is not legal where I live. Therefore, I stood tall, put my hand over my heart, recited the pledge, and stated with pride I would not break the law, as far as you know. They told me I’m not breaking the law I can get CBD oil over the counter at almost any store. What I shouted? Weed is illegal, but marijuana oil can be bought anywhere? Sure, they said. In fact, there are even special candies that you can get in case you can’t stand the taste of the oil.

All this is odd when it comes from the mayor of your town and she’s asking you to use CBD at the same time she is asking you to run for council. Now, in council she would be my boss and therefore know I was on CBD. Do you see where I am going here? Does she want me to take drugs so he can fire me more easily, or to make me a better politician.

This raises the question; Are all politicians on drugs? If so, why do so many of them try so hard to get rid of drugs? Many politicians get elected on an anti-drug plan.  I can’t believe those ones are on drugs. Perhaps their vice is corruption. So, do the corruption people hate the drug people and visa versa? Is that how it works?

Yep, Politics Is Confusing!

Thank you for laughing and Please read a little longer

Thank you all for laughing with me, but I need to be serious. Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency is a genetic disease which rots the liver and lungs. There is no cure. The only help for people is to have a weekly infusion of proteins to stop the spread. For the next few months I will be taking all my proceeds and donating them to the Alpha-1 Foundation who are searching for a cure to this horrible malady. You can give here or for more information go to Alpha-1.org Thanks for supporting world laughter, and finding a cure. Laugh On

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22 thoughts on “Stop Smoking!!! Make Brownies

  1. Great job setting the record straight on the bemusing nature of politics, Mr. Ohh. I attempted to protest my city council’s mixed messages on a number of issues with a sit down strike. The council thwarted my dissent by asking, “Can you get up for minute? We’d like to measure you for a suit.” Disobedience is easier said than done.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Confusion abounds! “The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty.”
    Marijuana is legal here but if you work for a nationwide corporation they generally will reject you if have it in your system. There are a couple of places, like Progressive Insurance and Amazon that just don’t test for it.

    Liked by 2 people

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